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mamalioness · mamalioness

By Patricia OGorman Ph.D., and Phil Diaz, M.S.W.Step 1Admitted our powerlessness to change our past that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.Step 2Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the f...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Effects, Defenses and Recovery from AbuseNotes on Abuse Effects of Abuse1. Low or no self-esteem 2. Often feels responsible and blames self 3. Inability to trust self and others (may trust, but trusts wrong people) 4. Sense of worthlessness 5. Isolation 6. Sense of being helpless 7. Strong denial...

tasha · tasha

Please feel free to share an intro, your story or anything else that will allow us to get to know you here. Welcome to the family.

To view the most recent post, click the largest blue number next to the thread heading, or while in the thread, at the bottom of the screen where it says 'pages' and use...

Orange · Orange

RECOVERY QUICK START GUIDE Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress (MIP) website! About MIP:We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow the guidelines of 12 Step groups, although we are a bi...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Before you read the twelve steps of self-care, first understand the five things you need to quit doing: 1. Trying to please everyone. You will end up being taken advantage of. Instead, teach kindness to the people around you. Have a head on your shoulders.2. Fearing change. Know that life is ro...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress site! We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. An intergroup Transition Committee then formed to handle the bills and business affairs as needed. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow th...

mamalioness · mamalioness

We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.M...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Adult Child Characteristics1. Adult children guess at what normal is.There is no frame of reference for what it is like to be in a normal household. You also have no frame of reference for what is O.K. to say and feel. In a more typical situation, one does not have to walk on eggs all the time. Because you d...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

Tony A., the founder of Adult Children of Alcoholics, wrote The Laundry List in 1978. This defines the nature of our ACoA issues; our major problems and common behavior patterns. If you identify with a majority of these issues, this is the place for you! (Excerpted from The Laundry List: The ACoA E...

mamalioness · mamalioness

When I came here 14 years ago, broken, disillusioned, no hope left, I was literally a mess... A friend of mine (when I was about to try again to commit suicide) told me "give ACA 12 steps 30 days...30 days is all I ask, and if it does not help you BE better, THINK better, FEEL better, I won't try and stop you f...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: · Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship · Inability to feel comfortable when alone · Feelings of being different or not like others · Confusion, or a deep sense of inade...

MoMo74 · MoMo74

Hi, this is my first post here. I have not been to an ACA or AlAnon meeting yet, but plan to go to one this week. I'll try not to make this too long winded. My mom is an alcoholic in very strong denial. My parents very rarely drank when I was a kid. I grew up in Indiana but moved to Connecticut after colleg...

GoWalkFree · GoWalkFree

Hi, This is my first post here. I will keep it short and to the point. I have 5 years of sobriety. 100% clear of drugs and alcohol. I am in my early 30s, a female. I live with my alcoholic mom. This has not been easy ever, especially not during COVID. I am in two 12-step programs for my addiction and codepe...

lawwwrrenn · lawwwrrenn

Hello all. My name is Lauren. I am 30, married, and we just purchased our very first home!!! I've been in counseling for a few years now, between conventional therapy and also DBT. I am really wanting to get some healing done so that I feel ready to actually start our own little family (having kids, etc)...

Ron · Ron

Hey everyone. I'm Ron, 23 years old, and an adult-child of two alcoholic parents. I am a newcomer here. I have been working through ACoA trauma since adolescence. I started therapy at 15 years old, and have been in therapy since... but I feel like I am at a stand-still and am going nowhere with my recove...

Daniela · Daniela

I'm new and wondering how the meetings work. Do we use video?

taher · taher

hello i just joined today. I am 40 years old living with "mommy and daddy" as they are now seniors 64 and 75. I can't catch a break, I got into an arranged marriage I am not really wanted 5 yrs ago parents got me into this with her i know they meant well but just not the path I want to take want to start fresh on...

cobaltblue · cobaltblue

Has anyone done any reading comparing ACOA and the latchkey generation? The more I read about it, the more it seems all kids that grew up in late 60's to early 80's could relate to feeling abandoned. How did some come out of it without the alcoholic parents and arrive at the SAME problems as adults?

BennusMaximus · BennusMaximus

Hello everyone, my name is Ben, you can call me Benny. I was directed to ACA after a talk with a good online friend and found this forum, I was thinking about joining a meeting sometime and seeing what kind of community I can find here. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother that couldn't care less...

justvisiting · justvisiting

Hello friends, I'm brand new to ACA and joined this forum to add another spoke to my wheel of support. I grew up in a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father, a codependent mother, and a younger brother with significant mental health/addiction struggles. I'm 3 years in recovery from substance...

sharLove51 · sharLove51

This made my day so decided to share with you guys. Thank you for the love and feedback on my last post. Hope this helps someone. ________________________________________ What parents should teach their kids? I know you want me to approve of you but you need to make your own choices, even if they...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I remember 2004, February, very clearly, I was scared..I didn't think the program would help me...I thought I would be shunned at the very least with my horrific injuries/wounds...like HOW could I share "THAT" with strangers??? and be OK, much less loved??? I just could not see it and some of the p...

Chi_Aca_ADHD · Chi_Aca_ADHD

Hi guys, So I am amazed at how much the ACA traits, stories i've been reading/hearing resonates with me. After 9 days of listening, I started going over the Yellow workbook. It recommends finding a sponsor. I believe that an ACA sponsor with ADHD whose first 12-step was ACA would be best suited to un...

RiverM · RiverM

hello... my name is river. i hit bottom in 2017 after being hospitalized right after my high school graduation for suicidal thoughts. a few months later, i found ACA. i've been attending meetings on/off since then (consistency was a bit difficult the last two years due to moving twice, but i'm now att...

Cicada_Shell · Cicada_Shell

Hi Everyone. Ive come here at the advice of my therapist, although Im not sure exactly what to do with myself. Ive only recently started in on this journey, so I havent quite gotten a plan yet. I really just want to heal, whatever that means. So, to start, I am the daughter of two alcoholics (my mom also da...

alexa · alexa

Hi everyone, I'm new to the group and sort of stumbled upon it by accident. I suffer from a lot of mental health problems, and I believe that my experiences as a child growing up with an alcoholic parent has contributed to a lot of my mental health problems now and unhealthy thinking patterns. I wanted t...

DisneyRPGWarrior · DisneyRPGWarrior

Hello everyone =) I am 30 years old, currently in therapy due to my "ACoA Trauma syndrome". I never realized I was experiencing this until my husband suggested I go into therapy. So, Ill tell you a little bit about me...here goes: My father is an alcoholic who through my life went through the motions o...

ZenDancer · ZenDancer

Hello friends! My name is Lucas - I'm new to the forum. I've been in recovery (AA and DA) for some years now, but only recently have come to see just how much of an ACA I am... 'Approval addiction' and fear of disapproval and abandonment have always been huge issues in my life.. in many ways they are like cor...

Rachelf075 · Rachelf075

Hi, Im a single mom and an only child of an alcoholic mother. From a young age, I always felt like I was outside looking in. I?ve been terrified of ending up alone because for many reasons. One is that I know when my parents die, it?ll just be me. And I wanted to start my own family so I could belong somewhere....

Chaosmagika · Chaosmagika

Dear fellow souls I am completely new to this and find myself against the ropes so to speak, I was put onto ACA through a wise friend further down the path than myself, Im just looking for advice on finding an online support groups to start my healing and recovery, knowing and admitting I have lost all con...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	STICKY: the 12 steps to reparenting and reclaiming ourselves & other wisdoms (Preview) By Patricia OGorman Ph.D., and Phil Diaz, M.S.W.Step 1Admitted our powerlessness to change our past that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.Step 2Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the f...	mamalioness	10	1654	March 3rd by mamalioness
	STICKY: Effects, Defenses and Recovery from Abuse (Preview) Effects, Defenses and Recovery from AbuseNotes on Abuse Effects of Abuse1. Low or no self-esteem 2. Often feels responsible and blames self 3. Inability to trust self and others (may trust, but trusts wrong people) 4. Sense of worthlessness 5. Isolation 6. Sense of being helpless 7. Strong denial...	mamalioness	7	1885	November 14th by mamalioness
	STICKY: Share your story here. ( 1 2 3 4 5 … 8 ) (Preview) Please feel free to share an intro, your story or anything else that will allow us to get to know you here. Welcome to the family. To view the most recent post, click the largest blue number next to the thread heading, or while in the thread, at the bottom of the screen where it says 'pages' and use...	tasha	474	82549	November 8th by Orange
	STICKY: WELCOME NEWCOMERS QUICK START GUIDE (Preview) RECOVERY QUICK START GUIDE Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress (MIP) website! About MIP:We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow the guidelines of 12 Step groups, although we are a bi...	Orange	5	296	Sep 26, 2020 by mamalioness
	STICKY: SELF CARE_LOVING YOURSELF (Preview) Before you read the twelve steps of self-care, first understand the five things you need to quit doing: 1. Trying to please everyone. You will end up being taken advantage of. Instead, teach kindness to the people around you. Have a head on your shoulders.2. Fearing change. Know that life is ro...	mamalioness	20	1892	Sep 14, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Welcome, Newcomers! (Preview) Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress site! We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. An intergroup Transition Committee then formed to handle the bills and business affairs as needed. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow th...	Mrs_Snoopy	9	1687	Jun 13, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: 12 steps for adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional families (Preview) We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.M...	mamalioness	12	1622	May 16, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Adult Child Characteristics (Preview) Adult Child Characteristics1. Adult children guess at what normal is.There is no frame of reference for what it is like to be in a normal household. You also have no frame of reference for what is O.K. to say and feel. In a more typical situation, one does not have to walk on eggs all the time. Because you d...	mamalioness	18	1731	May 10, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: The Laundry List (Preview) Tony A., the founder of Adult Children of Alcoholics, wrote The Laundry List in 1978. This defines the nature of our ACoA issues; our major problems and common behavior patterns. If you identify with a majority of these issues, this is the place for you! (Excerpted from The Laundry List: The ACoA E...	Mrs_Snoopy	6	2173	Sep 9, 2019 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Welcome to the ACA program. My story!! (Preview) When I came here 14 years ago, broken, disillusioned, no hope left, I was literally a mess... A friend of mine (when I was about to try again to commit suicide) told me "give ACA 12 steps 30 days...30 days is all I ask, and if it does not help you BE better, THINK better, FEEL better, I won't try and stop you f...	mamalioness	12	3311	Apr 25, 2019 by mamalioness
	STICKY: MORE characteristics of Adult children and/or CoDa (Preview) Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: · Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship · Inability to feel comfortable when alone · Feelings of being different or not like others · Confusion, or a deep sense of inade...	mamalioness	1	2005	Nov 29, 2018 by Mrs_Snoopy
	First Post! (Preview) Hi, this is my first post here. I have not been to an ACA or AlAnon meeting yet, but plan to go to one this week. I'll try not to make this too long winded. My mom is an alcoholic in very strong denial. My parents very rarely drank when I was a kid. I grew up in Indiana but moved to Connecticut after colleg...	MoMo74	1	10	4 days ago by Mrs_Snoopy
	Looking for a refuge. Newcomer (Preview) Hi, This is my first post here. I will keep it short and to the point. I have 5 years of sobriety. 100% clear of drugs and alcohol. I am in my early 30s, a female. I live with my alcoholic mom. This has not been easy ever, especially not during COVID. I am in two 12-step programs for my addiction and codepe...	GoWalkFree	2	29	April 1st by Mrs_Snoopy
	Absolutely overwhelmed new newcomer first post (Preview) Hello all. My name is Lauren. I am 30, married, and we just purchased our very first home!!! I've been in counseling for a few years now, between conventional therapy and also DBT. I am really wanting to get some healing done so that I feel ready to actually start our own little family (having kids, etc)...	lawwwrrenn	3	87	February 8th by mamalioness
	Newcomer. Looking for some light. newcomer (Preview) Hey everyone. I'm Ron, 23 years old, and an adult-child of two alcoholic parents. I am a newcomer here. I have been working through ACoA trauma since adolescence. I started therapy at 15 years old, and have been in therapy since... but I feel like I am at a stand-still and am going nowhere with my recove...	Ron	6	103	January 20th by mamalioness
	How do we log in to the meetings? (Preview) I'm new and wondering how the meetings work. Do we use video?	Daniela	2	96	January 3rd by mamalioness
	just saying hi (Preview) hello i just joined today. I am 40 years old living with "mommy and daddy" as they are now seniors 64 and 75. I can't catch a break, I got into an arranged marriage I am not really wanted 5 yrs ago parents got me into this with her i know they meant well but just not the path I want to take want to start fresh on...	taher	4	90	January 2nd by mamalioness
	GenX & Latchkey Kids (Preview) Has anyone done any reading comparing ACOA and the latchkey generation? The more I read about it, the more it seems all kids that grew up in late 60's to early 80's could relate to feeling abandoned. How did some come out of it without the alcoholic parents and arrive at the SAME problems as adults?	cobaltblue	2	89	January 2nd by mamalioness
	Newcomer (Preview) Hello everyone, my name is Ben, you can call me Benny. I was directed to ACA after a talk with a good online friend and found this forum, I was thinking about joining a meeting sometime and seeing what kind of community I can find here. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother that couldn't care less...	BennusMaximus	6	153	December 27th by Mrs_Snoopy
	Another Newcomer (Preview) Hello friends, I'm brand new to ACA and joined this forum to add another spoke to my wheel of support. I grew up in a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father, a codependent mother, and a younger brother with significant mental health/addiction struggles. I'm 3 years in recovery from substance...	justvisiting	2	113	November 21st by Orange
	For my fellow travelers. I will leave this here. (Preview) This made my day so decided to share with you guys. Thank you for the love and feedback on my last post. Hope this helps someone. ________________________________________ What parents should teach their kids? I know you want me to approve of you but you need to make your own choices, even if they...	sharLove51	1	107	November 21st by Mrs_Snoopy
	To all our lovely newbies (Preview) I remember 2004, February, very clearly, I was scared..I didn't think the program would help me...I thought I would be shunned at the very least with my horrific injuries/wounds...like HOW could I share "THAT" with strangers??? and be OK, much less loved??? I just could not see it and some of the p...	mamalioness	5	175	Oct 4, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	Yellow book sponsor (w' ADHD)? ADHD ACA Sponsor (Preview) Hi guys, So I am amazed at how much the ACA traits, stories i've been reading/hearing resonates with me. After 9 days of listening, I started going over the Yellow workbook. It recommends finding a sponsor. I believe that an ACA sponsor with ADHD whose first 12-step was ACA would be best suited to un...	Chi_Aca_ADHD	4	236	Sep 15, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	new to the forum but not to the program :-) (Preview) hello... my name is river. i hit bottom in 2017 after being hospitalized right after my high school graduation for suicidal thoughts. a few months later, i found ACA. i've been attending meetings on/off since then (consistency was a bit difficult the last two years due to moving twice, but i'm now att...	RiverM	3	198	Aug 23, 2020 by Orange
	New Traveler on this Journey (Preview) Hi Everyone. Ive come here at the advice of my therapist, although Im not sure exactly what to do with myself. Ive only recently started in on this journey, so I havent quite gotten a plan yet. I really just want to heal, whatever that means. So, to start, I am the daughter of two alcoholics (my mom also da...	Cicada_Shell	4	194	Aug 23, 2020 by Orange
	New and Looking for Resources (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to the group and sort of stumbled upon it by accident. I suffer from a lot of mental health problems, and I believe that my experiences as a child growing up with an alcoholic parent has contributed to a lot of my mental health problems now and unhealthy thinking patterns. I wanted t...	alexa	3	178	Aug 23, 2020 by Orange
	New Comer - Adult Child of an Alcoholic (Preview) Hello everyone =) I am 30 years old, currently in therapy due to my "ACoA Trauma syndrome". I never realized I was experiencing this until my husband suggested I go into therapy. So, Ill tell you a little bit about me...here goes: My father is an alcoholic who through my life went through the motions o...	DisneyRPGWarrior	8	251	Aug 23, 2020 by Orange
	hello fellow travellers :) (Preview) Hello friends! My name is Lucas - I'm new to the forum. I've been in recovery (AA and DA) for some years now, but only recently have come to see just how much of an ACA I am... 'Approval addiction' and fear of disapproval and abandonment have always been huge issues in my life.. in many ways they are like cor...	ZenDancer	4	247	Jul 28, 2020 by Orange
	Lonely / single mom and only child (Preview) Hi, Im a single mom and an only child of an alcoholic mother. From a young age, I always felt like I was outside looking in. I?ve been terrified of ending up alone because for many reasons. One is that I know when my parents die, it?ll just be me. And I wanted to start my own family so I could belong somewhere....	Rachelf075	1	288	Jul 5, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	Complete beginner looking for a online group (Preview) Dear fellow souls I am completely new to this and find myself against the ropes so to speak, I was put onto ACA through a wise friend further down the path than myself, Im just looking for advice on finding an online support groups to start my healing and recovery, knowing and admitting I have lost all con...	Chaosmagika	8	317	Jun 29, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
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