Online Meetings Tuesday 7:00 PM Eastern in the Meeting Room

tasha · tasha

Please feel free to share an intro, your story or anything else that will allow us to get to know you here. Welcome to the family.

To view the most recent post, click the largest blue number next to the thread heading, or while in the thread, at the bottom of the screen where it says 'pages' and use...

mamalioness · mamalioness

By Patricia OGorman Ph.D., and Phil Diaz, M.S.W.Step 1Admitted our powerlessness to change our past that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.Step 2Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the f...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Before you read the twelve steps of self-care, first understand the five things you need to quit doing: 1. Trying to please everyone. You will end up being taken advantage of. Instead, teach kindness to the people around you. Have a head on your shoulders.2. Fearing change. Know that life is ro...

Orange · Orange

RECOVERY QUICK START GUIDE Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress (MIP) website! About MIP:We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow the guidelines of 12 Step groups, although we are a bi...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Effects, Defenses and Recovery from AbuseNotes on Abuse Effects of Abuse1. Low or no self-esteem 2. Often feels responsible and blames self 3. Inability to trust self and others (may trust, but trusts wrong people) 4. Sense of worthlessness 5. Isolation 6. Sense of being helpless 7. Strong denial...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress site! We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. An intergroup Transition Committee then formed to handle the bills and business affairs as needed. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow th...

mamalioness · mamalioness

We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.M...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Adult Child Characteristics1. Adult children guess at what normal is.There is no frame of reference for what it is like to be in a normal household. You also have no frame of reference for what is O.K. to say and feel. In a more typical situation, one does not have to walk on eggs all the time. Because you d...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

Tony A., the founder of Adult Children of Alcoholics, wrote The Laundry List in 1978. This defines the nature of our ACoA issues; our major problems and common behavior patterns. If you identify with a majority of these issues, this is the place for you! (Excerpted from The Laundry List: The ACoA E...

mamalioness · mamalioness

When I came here 14 years ago, broken, disillusioned, no hope left, I was literally a mess... A friend of mine (when I was about to try again to commit suicide) told me "give ACA 12 steps 30 days...30 days is all I ask, and if it does not help you BE better, THINK better, FEEL better, I won't try and stop you f...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: · Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship · Inability to feel comfortable when alone · Feelings of being different or not like others · Confusion, or a deep sense of inade...

Sonseearae · Sonseearae

I have only been to ACA meeting for a couple of weeks but would like to share my experience. I was court ordered to AA in 1978 after following in my mother's alcoholic footsteps. Though relapse is part of my story, I've been clean and sober now for 32 years. Recently a sponsee asked me what I thought abo...

AimeeV · AimeeV

Hey all, new here and I need some advice. My mother is widowed, in poor health, walks with a walker and shouldn't live alone but refuses to leave her house. She lives about an hour from me. She is of sound mind so I can't make her do anything. I've asked the social worker at the hospital and they say she's all...

Littlelf · Littlelf

Hi there, Just found this board. So wish I would have found it when I entered Recovery two years ago. But, I guess I found it when I was supposed to, right? A Readers' Digest version of my journey: I am recognizing that Abandonment is a through line for me. I was adopted at three days old. My bmom was 16 and my...

Dafydd22 · Dafydd22

MIP ACA has been a good stand by over the ovid pandemic. Today I have a f2f meeting to go to, and a FiT, a fellow traveller to go with. One of our members has become group rep. I am treasurer... ...but our GR wants to start working the Big Red Book. The BrB is an encyclopaedia of ACA wisdom. It contain...

Donnie08020 · Donnie08020

Hi my names Paul I've been acoa meeting 8 years ago, my life's a complete mess and im dissociating can anyone help me!

Donnie08020 · Donnie08020

Can anyone help me need a acoa contact my names Paul 44 yoa

cara · cara

I'm going to try to be relatively succinct because I fear that "my story" could go on for days. I joined this forum because I wanted a place where I could share/post anonymously. Facebook groups are great, but I don't want to be recognized. I don't know for sure that my dad was an alcoholic (he was a close...

Yellowshoes91 · Yellowshoes91

Where do we post about what were feeling? I was feeling hope when I found this but so far only see positivity and thats not at all how I feel and is not at this moment feeling helpful.

A Rode · A Rode

Hello. I stumbled across this site while looking up information about ACA. I perfectly fit the model of what ACA stands for and hope this will be a good resource. Thank you.

unlovable · unlovable

A whole part of this ACA experience is also seeing how we attempt to create safe environments for each other. I wonder if my shares hurt others unintentionally and I would never know. I wonder if my voice is affecting others. I'm worried because I see how these things from others affect me strongl...

junkyardsaint · junkyardsaint

I've been hearing about ACA for some time now, having been involved in a variety of other 12 step meetings, but someone was sharing at our Dual Diagnosis Anonymous meeting and I decided that it sounded like a support group that I might benefit from. Like many of us, I have childhood trauma in my past that...

Pep21 · Pep21

Hi all I thought I would check out ACA. I'm not a stranger to 12 step programs at all. Finding myself up against the wall in areas I thought were long gone. I see how all the junk has effected me and IS effecting me now with two aging parents but... Not sure how to stop the Merry go round. I set boundaries bu...

carrie-seattle · carrie-seattle

Hi there - I'm new to this forum and the al-anon community. My parents and 2 of my siblings are alcoholics. My sister has been in recovery for about 3 years now, and my brother just recently admitted he's an alcoholic. There's so much I could go into here, but I could really use some advice on how my parents...

Sadie · Sadie

I want to tell on my family: My mum never kissed or hugged me ever, she couldn't bear to touch me mainly because I was a girl. I was neglected and didn't have a change of clothes or adult supervision. My mum would hit me in the face, make me stand still so she could land one on me, pull me around by the hair and m...

Queenie · Queenie

Hi everyone, I hope I am doing this right. Im new to ACOA. Ive been looking into getting help since my mom passed away in 2018. But then, you know life/Covid. Well, here I am, making an effort. My mom was a chronic alcoholic to the point that she eventually lost everything and became homeless. She l...

Nightowl · Nightowl

Hi. I consider myself to be largely ok with dealing with ACOA side effects. By that I mean, I've done a lot of work on myself, learned to feel the fear and do it anyway, to move passed all the little thoughts that tell me to give up. Self sabotage, putting others first, neglecting myself, people pleasing,...

TraditionNerd · TraditionNerd

I'm 18 years sober and just started ACA/ACoA on the 18th of June 2021. I've been attending ACA on Zoom. I got the BRB and am seeing myself all over the place. I've got the yellow book, the Laundry List workbook, and the meditation book. I'm having a hard time with this Loving Parent and becoming your o...

John Milton · John Milton

Does anyone else here suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Also, does anyone use the Calm app? I find it very helpful. One challenge that I face is REALLY being able to love myself, or feel worthy of love. And the feedback that I get from my wife, supports this observation. Many times I hear th...

Keaf · Keaf

All the way from Helsinki, Finland. I'm 44, father of two (17 and 18), a husband. I have a 25 year long history with depression and anxiety. It's always been clear to me that my issues mostly stem from my father: he was a son of an alcoholic, depressed as well, and not equipped with any mental faculties to b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	STICKY: Share your story here. ( 1 2 3 4 5 … 9 ) (Preview) Please feel free to share an intro, your story or anything else that will allow us to get to know you here. Welcome to the family. To view the most recent post, click the largest blue number next to the thread heading, or while in the thread, at the bottom of the screen where it says 'pages' and use...	tasha	504	112720	April 6th by Dafydd22
	STICKY: the 12 steps to reparenting and reclaiming ourselves & other wisdoms (Preview) By Patricia OGorman Ph.D., and Phil Diaz, M.S.W.Step 1Admitted our powerlessness to change our past that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.Step 2Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the f...	mamalioness	13	3874	Jul 8, 2022 by GiJoDoll
	STICKY: SELF CARE_LOVING YOURSELF (Preview) Before you read the twelve steps of self-care, first understand the five things you need to quit doing: 1. Trying to please everyone. You will end up being taken advantage of. Instead, teach kindness to the people around you. Have a head on your shoulders.2. Fearing change. Know that life is ro...	mamalioness	22	4846	Mar 1, 2022 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: WELCOME NEWCOMERS QUICK START GUIDE (Preview) RECOVERY QUICK START GUIDE Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress (MIP) website! About MIP:We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow the guidelines of 12 Step groups, although we are a bi...	Orange	10	1969	Nov 13, 2021 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Effects, Defenses and Recovery from Abuse (Preview) Effects, Defenses and Recovery from AbuseNotes on Abuse Effects of Abuse1. Low or no self-esteem 2. Often feels responsible and blames self 3. Inability to trust self and others (may trust, but trusts wrong people) 4. Sense of worthlessness 5. Isolation 6. Sense of being helpless 7. Strong denial...	mamalioness	7	4133	Nov 14, 2020 by mamalioness
	STICKY: Welcome, Newcomers! (Preview) Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress site! We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. An intergroup Transition Committee then formed to handle the bills and business affairs as needed. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow th...	Mrs_Snoopy	9	4091	Jun 13, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: 12 steps for adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional families (Preview) We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.M...	mamalioness	12	3780	May 16, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Adult Child Characteristics (Preview) Adult Child Characteristics1. Adult children guess at what normal is.There is no frame of reference for what it is like to be in a normal household. You also have no frame of reference for what is O.K. to say and feel. In a more typical situation, one does not have to walk on eggs all the time. Because you d...	mamalioness	18	2517	May 10, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: The Laundry List (Preview) Tony A., the founder of Adult Children of Alcoholics, wrote The Laundry List in 1978. This defines the nature of our ACoA issues; our major problems and common behavior patterns. If you identify with a majority of these issues, this is the place for you! (Excerpted from The Laundry List: The ACoA E...	Mrs_Snoopy	6	4596	Sep 9, 2019 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Welcome to the ACA program. My story!! (Preview) When I came here 14 years ago, broken, disillusioned, no hope left, I was literally a mess... A friend of mine (when I was about to try again to commit suicide) told me "give ACA 12 steps 30 days...30 days is all I ask, and if it does not help you BE better, THINK better, FEEL better, I won't try and stop you f...	mamalioness	12	8854	Apr 25, 2019 by mamalioness
	STICKY: MORE characteristics of Adult children and/or CoDa (Preview) Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: · Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship · Inability to feel comfortable when alone · Feelings of being different or not like others · Confusion, or a deep sense of inade...	mamalioness	1	4881	Nov 29, 2018 by Mrs_Snoopy
	My ACA Journey (Preview) I have only been to ACA meeting for a couple of weeks but would like to share my experience. I was court ordered to AA in 1978 after following in my mother's alcoholic footsteps. Though relapse is part of my story, I've been clean and sober now for 32 years. Recently a sponsee asked me what I thought abo...	Sonseearae	4	324	January 24th by Dafydd22
	Need advice on elderly, crippled alcoholic mother (Preview) Hey all, new here and I need some advice. My mother is widowed, in poor health, walks with a walker and shouldn't live alone but refuses to leave her house. She lives about an hour from me. She is of sound mind so I can't make her do anything. I've asked the social worker at the hospital and they say she's all...	AimeeV	9	457	November 17th by mamalioness
	Grateful Recoverying ACA from SoCal (Preview) Hi there, Just found this board. So wish I would have found it when I entered Recovery two years ago. But, I guess I found it when I was supposed to, right? A Readers' Digest version of my journey: I am recognizing that Abandonment is a through line for me. I was adopted at three days old. My bmom was 16 and my...	Littlelf	2	263	November 17th by mamalioness
	To newcomers... (Preview) MIP ACA has been a good stand by over the ovid pandemic. Today I have a f2f meeting to go to, and a FiT, a fellow traveller to go with. One of our members has become group rep. I am treasurer... ...but our GR wants to start working the Big Red Book. The BrB is an encyclopaedia of ACA wisdom. It contain...	Dafydd22	1	388	Jan 16, 2023 by mamalioness
	Newcomer (Preview) Hi my names Paul I've been acoa meeting 8 years ago, my life's a complete mess and im dissociating can anyone help me!	Donnie08020	7	643	Sep 30, 2022 by mazza
	Contact needed (Preview) Can anyone help me need a acoa contact my names Paul 44 yoa	Donnie08020	2	727	Jul 5, 2022 by mamalioness
	Intro (Preview) I'm going to try to be relatively succinct because I fear that "my story" could go on for days. I joined this forum because I wanted a place where I could share/post anonymously. Facebook groups are great, but I don't want to be recognized. I don't know for sure that my dad was an alcoholic (he was a close...	cara	4	394	Jun 7, 2022 by mamalioness
	When in flashbacks (Preview) Where do we post about what were feeling? I was feeling hope when I found this but so far only see positivity and thats not at all how I feel and is not at this moment feeling helpful.	Yellowshoes91	1	650	Jun 6, 2022 by mamalioness
	Greetings (Preview) Hello. I stumbled across this site while looking up information about ACA. I perfectly fit the model of what ACA stands for and hope this will be a good resource. Thank you.	A Rode	3	750	Mar 23, 2022 by mamalioness
	Triggered by other ACA in meetings (Preview) A whole part of this ACA experience is also seeing how we attempt to create safe environments for each other. I wonder if my shares hurt others unintentionally and I would never know. I wonder if my voice is affecting others. I'm worried because I see how these things from others affect me strongl...	unlovable	10	1256	Mar 18, 2022 by cobaltblue
	Introducing myself as this is my first introduction to ACA (Preview) I've been hearing about ACA for some time now, having been involved in a variety of other 12 step meetings, but someone was sharing at our Dual Diagnosis Anonymous meeting and I decided that it sounded like a support group that I might benefit from. Like many of us, I have childhood trauma in my past that...	junkyardsaint	2	879	Feb 23, 2022 by Mrs_Snoopy
	New and saying hi. (Preview) Hi all I thought I would check out ACA. I'm not a stranger to 12 step programs at all. Finding myself up against the wall in areas I thought were long gone. I see how all the junk has effected me and IS effecting me now with two aging parents but... Not sure how to stop the Merry go round. I set boundaries bu...	Pep21	4	800	Feb 19, 2022 by mazza
	Alcoholic parents enabling alcoholic adult children (Preview) Hi there - I'm new to this forum and the al-anon community. My parents and 2 of my siblings are alcoholics. My sister has been in recovery for about 3 years now, and my brother just recently admitted he's an alcoholic. There's so much I could go into here, but I could really use some advice on how my parents...	carrie-seattle	2	1026	Nov 8, 2021 by carrie-seattle
	I want to tell on My Family (Preview) I want to tell on my family: My mum never kissed or hugged me ever, she couldn't bear to touch me mainly because I was a girl. I was neglected and didn't have a change of clothes or adult supervision. My mum would hit me in the face, make me stand still so she could land one on me, pull me around by the hair and m...	Sadie	3	1160	Nov 5, 2021 by mazza
	New person here/is this right? (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope I am doing this right. Im new to ACOA. Ive been looking into getting help since my mom passed away in 2018. But then, you know life/Covid. Well, here I am, making an effort. My mom was a chronic alcoholic to the point that she eventually lost everything and became homeless. She l...	Queenie	5	511	Oct 19, 2021 by mazza
	New and evaluating. (Preview) Hi. I consider myself to be largely ok with dealing with ACOA side effects. By that I mean, I've done a lot of work on myself, learned to feel the fear and do it anyway, to move passed all the little thoughts that tell me to give up. Self sabotage, putting others first, neglecting myself, people pleasing,...	Nightowl	6	621	Oct 19, 2021 by Mrs_Snoopy
	Hi I'm new (Preview) I'm 18 years sober and just started ACA/ACoA on the 18th of June 2021. I've been attending ACA on Zoom. I got the BRB and am seeing myself all over the place. I've got the yellow book, the Laundry List workbook, and the meditation book. I'm having a hard time with this Loving Parent and becoming your o...	TraditionNerd	2	1194	Jul 26, 2021 by Mrs_Snoopy
	New on the board (Preview) Does anyone else here suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Also, does anyone use the Calm app? I find it very helpful. One challenge that I face is REALLY being able to love myself, or feel worthy of love. And the feedback that I get from my wife, supports this observation. Many times I hear th...	John Milton	2	1289	Jul 13, 2021 by mamalioness
	...so Hi! (Preview) All the way from Helsinki, Finland. I'm 44, father of two (17 and 18), a husband. I have a 25 year long history with depression and anxiety. It's always been clear to me that my issues mostly stem from my father: he was a son of an alcoholic, depressed as well, and not equipped with any mental faculties to b...	Keaf	5	759	Jun 23, 2021 by mamalioness
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