Online Meetings Tuesday 7:00 PM Eastern in the Meeting Room

Orange · Orange

RECOVERY QUICK START GUIDE Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress (MIP) website! About MIP:We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow the guidelines of 12 Step groups, although we are a bi...

tasha · tasha

Please feel free to share an intro, your story or anything else that will allow us to get to know you here. Welcome to the family.

To view the most recent post, click the largest blue number next to the thread heading, or while in the thread, at the bottom of the screen where it says 'pages' and use...

mamalioness · mamalioness

By Patricia OGorman Ph.D., and Phil Diaz, M.S.W.Step 1Admitted our powerlessness to change our past that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.Step 2Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the f...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Effects, Defenses and Recovery from AbuseNotes on Abuse Effects of Abuse1. Low or no self-esteem 2. Often feels responsible and blames self 3. Inability to trust self and others (may trust, but trusts wrong people) 4. Sense of worthlessness 5. Isolation 6. Sense of being helpless 7. Strong denial...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Before you read the twelve steps of self-care, first understand the five things you need to quit doing: 1. Trying to please everyone. You will end up being taken advantage of. Instead, teach kindness to the people around you. Have a head on your shoulders.2. Fearing change. Know that life is ro...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress site! We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. An intergroup Transition Committee then formed to handle the bills and business affairs as needed. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow th...

mamalioness · mamalioness

We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.M...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Adult Child Characteristics1. Adult children guess at what normal is.There is no frame of reference for what it is like to be in a normal household. You also have no frame of reference for what is O.K. to say and feel. In a more typical situation, one does not have to walk on eggs all the time. Because you d...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

Tony A., the founder of Adult Children of Alcoholics, wrote The Laundry List in 1978. This defines the nature of our ACoA issues; our major problems and common behavior patterns. If you identify with a majority of these issues, this is the place for you! (Excerpted from The Laundry List: The ACoA E...

mamalioness · mamalioness

When I came here 14 years ago, broken, disillusioned, no hope left, I was literally a mess... A friend of mine (when I was about to try again to commit suicide) told me "give ACA 12 steps 30 days...30 days is all I ask, and if it does not help you BE better, THINK better, FEEL better, I won't try and stop you f...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: · Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship · Inability to feel comfortable when alone · Feelings of being different or not like others · Confusion, or a deep sense of inade...

unlovable · unlovable

A whole part of this ACA experience is also seeing how we attempt to create safe environments for each other. I wonder if my shares hurt others unintentionally and I would never know. I wonder if my voice is affecting others. I'm worried because I see how these things from others affect me strongl...

carrie-seattle · carrie-seattle

Hi there - I'm new to this forum and the al-anon community. My parents and 2 of my siblings are alcoholics. My sister has been in recovery for about 3 years now, and my brother just recently admitted he's an alcoholic. There's so much I could go into here, but I could really use some advice on how my parents...

Sadie · Sadie

I want to tell on my family: My mum never kissed or hugged me ever, she couldn't bear to touch me mainly because I was a girl. I was neglected and didn't have a change of clothes or adult supervision. My mum would hit me in the face, make me stand still so she could land one on me, pull me around by the hair and m...

Queenie · Queenie

Hi everyone, I hope I am doing this right. Im new to ACOA. Ive been looking into getting help since my mom passed away in 2018. But then, you know life/Covid. Well, here I am, making an effort. My mom was a chronic alcoholic to the point that she eventually lost everything and became homeless. She l...

Nightowl · Nightowl

Hi. I consider myself to be largely ok with dealing with ACOA side effects. By that I mean, I've done a lot of work on myself, learned to feel the fear and do it anyway, to move passed all the little thoughts that tell me to give up. Self sabotage, putting others first, neglecting myself, people pleasing,...

TraditionNerd · TraditionNerd

I'm 18 years sober and just started ACA/ACoA on the 18th of June 2021. I've been attending ACA on Zoom. I got the BRB and am seeing myself all over the place. I've got the yellow book, the Laundry List workbook, and the meditation book. I'm having a hard time with this Loving Parent and becoming your o...

John Milton · John Milton

Does anyone else here suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Also, does anyone use the Calm app? I find it very helpful. One challenge that I face is REALLY being able to love myself, or feel worthy of love. And the feedback that I get from my wife, supports this observation. Many times I hear th...

Keaf · Keaf

All the way from Helsinki, Finland. I'm 44, father of two (17 and 18), a husband. I have a 25 year long history with depression and anxiety. It's always been clear to me that my issues mostly stem from my father: he was a son of an alcoholic, depressed as well, and not equipped with any mental faculties to b...

JamesCT · JamesCT

Click the meeting link above and join us!

MoMo74 · MoMo74

Hi, this is my first post here. I have not been to an ACA or AlAnon meeting yet, but plan to go to one this week. I'll try not to make this too long winded. My mom is an alcoholic in very strong denial. My parents very rarely drank when I was a kid. I grew up in Indiana but moved to Connecticut after colleg...

ryanlawsons · ryanlawsons

Hello. This is my first post here. I've not attended an ACA meeting yet. I have lately been struggling with some experiences in meetings in AA. Specifically speaking, I watched a man passively aggressively make fun of 2 people during his share. One of those persons he mocked was the person chairing th...

SilkeH · SilkeH

Dear Fellow Travellers, Silke here, adult child from an alcoholic and dysfunctional family. I am relatively new to the world of ACA though I knew for a long time my dad is an alcoholic (sober these days) and my mother is a co-dependent with a narcissistic personality. Joining the forum here is real...

GoWalkFree · GoWalkFree

Hi, This is my first post here. I will keep it short and to the point. I have 5 years of sobriety. 100% clear of drugs and alcohol. I am in my early 30s, a female. I live with my alcoholic mom. This has not been easy ever, especially not during COVID. I am in two 12-step programs for my addiction and codepe...

lawwwrrenn · lawwwrrenn

Hello all. My name is Lauren. I am 30, married, and we just purchased our very first home!!! I've been in counseling for a few years now, between conventional therapy and also DBT. I am really wanting to get some healing done so that I feel ready to actually start our own little family (having kids, etc)...

Ron · Ron

Hey everyone. I'm Ron, 23 years old, and an adult-child of two alcoholic parents. I am a newcomer here. I have been working through ACoA trauma since adolescence. I started therapy at 15 years old, and have been in therapy since... but I feel like I am at a stand-still and am going nowhere with my recove...

Daniela · Daniela

I'm new and wondering how the meetings work. Do we use video?

taher · taher

hello i just joined today. I am 40 years old living with "mommy and daddy" as they are now seniors 64 and 75. I can't catch a break, I got into an arranged marriage I am not really wanted 5 yrs ago parents got me into this with her i know they meant well but just not the path I want to take want to start fresh on...

cobaltblue · cobaltblue

Has anyone done any reading comparing ACOA and the latchkey generation? The more I read about it, the more it seems all kids that grew up in late 60's to early 80's could relate to feeling abandoned. How did some come out of it without the alcoholic parents and arrive at the SAME problems as adults?

BennusMaximus · BennusMaximus

Hello everyone, my name is Ben, you can call me Benny. I was directed to ACA after a talk with a good online friend and found this forum, I was thinking about joining a meeting sometime and seeing what kind of community I can find here. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother that couldn't care less...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	STICKY: WELCOME NEWCOMERS QUICK START GUIDE (Preview) RECOVERY QUICK START GUIDE Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress (MIP) website! About MIP:We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow the guidelines of 12 Step groups, although we are a bi...	Orange	10	750	November 13th by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Share your story here. ( 1 2 3 4 5 … 9 ) (Preview) Please feel free to share an intro, your story or anything else that will allow us to get to know you here. Welcome to the family. To view the most recent post, click the largest blue number next to the thread heading, or while in the thread, at the bottom of the screen where it says 'pages' and use...	tasha	492	88439	October 1st by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: the 12 steps to reparenting and reclaiming ourselves & other wisdoms (Preview) By Patricia OGorman Ph.D., and Phil Diaz, M.S.W.Step 1Admitted our powerlessness to change our past that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.Step 2Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the f...	mamalioness	12	2188	September 26th by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Effects, Defenses and Recovery from Abuse (Preview) Effects, Defenses and Recovery from AbuseNotes on Abuse Effects of Abuse1. Low or no self-esteem 2. Often feels responsible and blames self 3. Inability to trust self and others (may trust, but trusts wrong people) 4. Sense of worthlessness 5. Isolation 6. Sense of being helpless 7. Strong denial...	mamalioness	7	2357	Nov 14, 2020 by mamalioness
	STICKY: SELF CARE_LOVING YOURSELF (Preview) Before you read the twelve steps of self-care, first understand the five things you need to quit doing: 1. Trying to please everyone. You will end up being taken advantage of. Instead, teach kindness to the people around you. Have a head on your shoulders.2. Fearing change. Know that life is ro...	mamalioness	20	2486	Sep 14, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Welcome, Newcomers! (Preview) Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress site! We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. An intergroup Transition Committee then formed to handle the bills and business affairs as needed. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow th...	Mrs_Snoopy	9	2216	Jun 13, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: 12 steps for adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional families (Preview) We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.M...	mamalioness	12	2095	May 16, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Adult Child Characteristics (Preview) Adult Child Characteristics1. Adult children guess at what normal is.There is no frame of reference for what it is like to be in a normal household. You also have no frame of reference for what is O.K. to say and feel. In a more typical situation, one does not have to walk on eggs all the time. Because you d...	mamalioness	18	1932	May 10, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: The Laundry List (Preview) Tony A., the founder of Adult Children of Alcoholics, wrote The Laundry List in 1978. This defines the nature of our ACoA issues; our major problems and common behavior patterns. If you identify with a majority of these issues, this is the place for you! (Excerpted from The Laundry List: The ACoA E...	Mrs_Snoopy	6	2611	Sep 9, 2019 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Welcome to the ACA program. My story!! (Preview) When I came here 14 years ago, broken, disillusioned, no hope left, I was literally a mess... A friend of mine (when I was about to try again to commit suicide) told me "give ACA 12 steps 30 days...30 days is all I ask, and if it does not help you BE better, THINK better, FEEL better, I won't try and stop you f...	mamalioness	12	4359	Apr 25, 2019 by mamalioness
	STICKY: MORE characteristics of Adult children and/or CoDa (Preview) Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: · Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship · Inability to feel comfortable when alone · Feelings of being different or not like others · Confusion, or a deep sense of inade...	mamalioness	1	2582	Nov 29, 2018 by Mrs_Snoopy
	Triggered by other ACA in meetings (Preview) A whole part of this ACA experience is also seeing how we attempt to create safe environments for each other. I wonder if my shares hurt others unintentionally and I would never know. I wonder if my voice is affecting others. I'm worried because I see how these things from others affect me strongl...	unlovable	2	95	December 6th by mazza
	Alcoholic parents enabling alcoholic adult children (Preview) Hi there - I'm new to this forum and the al-anon community. My parents and 2 of my siblings are alcoholics. My sister has been in recovery for about 3 years now, and my brother just recently admitted he's an alcoholic. There's so much I could go into here, but I could really use some advice on how my parents...	carrie-seattle	2	89	November 8th by carrie-seattle
	I want to tell on My Family (Preview) I want to tell on my family: My mum never kissed or hugged me ever, she couldn't bear to touch me mainly because I was a girl. I was neglected and didn't have a change of clothes or adult supervision. My mum would hit me in the face, make me stand still so she could land one on me, pull me around by the hair and m...	Sadie	3	109	November 5th by mazza
	New person here/is this right? (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope I am doing this right. Im new to ACOA. Ive been looking into getting help since my mom passed away in 2018. But then, you know life/Covid. Well, here I am, making an effort. My mom was a chronic alcoholic to the point that she eventually lost everything and became homeless. She l...	Queenie	5	114	October 19th by mazza
	New and evaluating. (Preview) Hi. I consider myself to be largely ok with dealing with ACOA side effects. By that I mean, I've done a lot of work on myself, learned to feel the fear and do it anyway, to move passed all the little thoughts that tell me to give up. Self sabotage, putting others first, neglecting myself, people pleasing,...	Nightowl	6	96	October 19th by Mrs_Snoopy
	Hi I'm new (Preview) I'm 18 years sober and just started ACA/ACoA on the 18th of June 2021. I've been attending ACA on Zoom. I got the BRB and am seeing myself all over the place. I've got the yellow book, the Laundry List workbook, and the meditation book. I'm having a hard time with this Loving Parent and becoming your o...	TraditionNerd	2	157	July 26th by Mrs_Snoopy
	New on the board (Preview) Does anyone else here suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Also, does anyone use the Calm app? I find it very helpful. One challenge that I face is REALLY being able to love myself, or feel worthy of love. And the feedback that I get from my wife, supports this observation. Many times I hear th...	John Milton	2	162	Jul 13, 2021 by mamalioness
	...so Hi! (Preview) All the way from Helsinki, Finland. I'm 44, father of two (17 and 18), a husband. I have a 25 year long history with depression and anxiety. It's always been clear to me that my issues mostly stem from my father: he was a son of an alcoholic, depressed as well, and not equipped with any mental faculties to b...	Keaf	5	176	Jun 23, 2021 by mamalioness
	We're having a meeting in less than an hour! (Preview) Click the meeting link above and join us!	JamesCT	1	167	Jun 9, 2021 by Mrs_Snoopy
	First Post! (Preview) Hi, this is my first post here. I have not been to an ACA or AlAnon meeting yet, but plan to go to one this week. I'll try not to make this too long winded. My mom is an alcoholic in very strong denial. My parents very rarely drank when I was a kid. I grew up in Indiana but moved to Connecticut after colleg...	MoMo74	2	228	May 5, 2021 by mamalioness
	Newcomer - Resentments (Preview) Hello. This is my first post here. I've not attended an ACA meeting yet. I have lately been struggling with some experiences in meetings in AA. Specifically speaking, I watched a man passively aggressively make fun of 2 people during his share. One of those persons he mocked was the person chairing th...	ryanlawsons	2	215	May 5, 2021 by mamalioness
	Greetings Fellow Travellers (Preview) Dear Fellow Travellers, Silke here, adult child from an alcoholic and dysfunctional family. I am relatively new to the world of ACA though I knew for a long time my dad is an alcoholic (sober these days) and my mother is a co-dependent with a narcissistic personality. Joining the forum here is real...	SilkeH	2	144	May 5, 2021 by mamalioness
	Looking for a refuge. Newcomer (Preview) Hi, This is my first post here. I will keep it short and to the point. I have 5 years of sobriety. 100% clear of drugs and alcohol. I am in my early 30s, a female. I live with my alcoholic mom. This has not been easy ever, especially not during COVID. I am in two 12-step programs for my addiction and codepe...	GoWalkFree	2	255	Apr 1, 2021 by Mrs_Snoopy
	Absolutely overwhelmed new newcomer first post (Preview) Hello all. My name is Lauren. I am 30, married, and we just purchased our very first home!!! I've been in counseling for a few years now, between conventional therapy and also DBT. I am really wanting to get some healing done so that I feel ready to actually start our own little family (having kids, etc)...	lawwwrrenn	3	323	Feb 8, 2021 by mamalioness
	Newcomer. Looking for some light. newcomer (Preview) Hey everyone. I'm Ron, 23 years old, and an adult-child of two alcoholic parents. I am a newcomer here. I have been working through ACoA trauma since adolescence. I started therapy at 15 years old, and have been in therapy since... but I feel like I am at a stand-still and am going nowhere with my recove...	Ron	6	297	Jan 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	How do we log in to the meetings? (Preview) I'm new and wondering how the meetings work. Do we use video?	Daniela	2	289	Jan 3, 2021 by mamalioness
	just saying hi (Preview) hello i just joined today. I am 40 years old living with "mommy and daddy" as they are now seniors 64 and 75. I can't catch a break, I got into an arranged marriage I am not really wanted 5 yrs ago parents got me into this with her i know they meant well but just not the path I want to take want to start fresh on...	taher	4	284	Jan 2, 2021 by mamalioness
	GenX & Latchkey Kids (Preview) Has anyone done any reading comparing ACOA and the latchkey generation? The more I read about it, the more it seems all kids that grew up in late 60's to early 80's could relate to feeling abandoned. How did some come out of it without the alcoholic parents and arrive at the SAME problems as adults?	cobaltblue	2	320	Jan 2, 2021 by mamalioness
	Newcomer (Preview) Hello everyone, my name is Ben, you can call me Benny. I was directed to ACA after a talk with a good online friend and found this forum, I was thinking about joining a meeting sometime and seeing what kind of community I can find here. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother that couldn't care less...	BennusMaximus	6	399	Dec 27, 2020 by Mrs_Snoopy
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