Online Meetings Tuesday 7:00 PM Eastern in the Meeting Room

mamalioness · mamalioness

Before you read the twelve steps of self-care, first understand the five things you need to quit doing: 1. Trying to please everyone. You will end up being taken advantage of. Instead, teach kindness to the people around you. Have a head on your shoulders.2. Fearing change. Know that life is ro...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Effects, Defenses and Recovery from AbuseNotes on Abuse Effects of Abuse1. Low or no self-esteem 2. Often feels responsible and blames self 3. Inability to trust self and others (may trust, but trusts wrong people) 4. Sense of worthlessness 5. Isolation 6. Sense of being helpless 7. Strong denial...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

As Co-Moderators, mamalioness and I are trying to re-energize this site and attract new members. We have several outreach initiatives, and would like to know which ones are working. How did you find out about this site? We hope you join our experience, strength, and hope!

In Recovery, Prin...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: · Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship · Inability to feel comfortable when alone · Feelings of being different or not like others · Confusion, or a deep sense of inade...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Adult Child Characteristics1. Adult children guess at what normal is.There is no frame of reference for what it is like to be in a normal household. You also have no frame of reference for what is O.K. to say and feel. In a more typical situation, one does not have to walk on eggs all the time. Because you d...

mamalioness · mamalioness

By Patricia OGorman Ph.D., and Phil Diaz, M.S.W.Step 1Admitted our powerlessness to change our past that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.Step 2Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the f...

mamalioness · mamalioness

We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.M...

mamalioness · mamalioness

When I came here 14 years ago, broken, disillusioned, no hope left, I was literally a mess... A friend of mine (when I was about to try again to commit suicide) told me "give ACA 12 steps 30 days...30 days is all I ask, and if it does not help you BE better, THINK better, FEEL better, I won't try and stop you f...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

Tony A., the founder of Adult Children of Alcoholics, wrote The Laundry List in 1978. This defines the nature of our ACoA issues; our major problems and common behavior patterns. If you identify with a majority of these issues, this is the place for you! (Excerpted from The Laundry List: The ACoA E...

Mrs_Snoopy · Mrs_Snoopy

Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress site! We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. An intergroup Transition Committee then formed to handle the bills and business affairs as needed. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow th...

tasha · tasha

Please feel free to share an intro, your story or anything else that will allow us to get to know you here. Welcome to the family.

To view the most recent post, click the largest blue number next to the thread heading, or while in the thread, at the bottom of the screen where it says 'pages' and use...

ChrisJH · ChrisJH

Hi all, I'm just discovering about ACA and stumbled upon this site after listening to a podcast. Where/how do I start this journey?

Gbsb31 · Gbsb31

Really... It's such an open question... I'm seekings help. I've dealt with abandonment and approval seeking behaviors and so much more. In a relationship now.. . Maybe. .. Not so sure after last night. . But I'm beginning to realize the effects of my childhood on my life now. .. I'm angry, hurt, tired o...

flagship2020 · flagship2020

My path to recovery has had lots of sharp turns. I started attending Al-Anon meeting in June 2019, but after about 3 months I felt I was in the wrong place and started attending AA meetings. I got a sponsor and started working the steps, but again I still get the feeling like I dont belong and I dont feel lik...

SongWoman · SongWoman

Hi, I commented on a post yesterday with a very short intro. I was made aware of ACA by my therapist back in about 1988. When I sat in that first meeting and recognized myself in most of the characteristics of adult children, I knew I belonged, except that I couldn't reconcile the fact there was no alcoh...

forgrace · forgrace

Hello all, I have recently rediscovered ACOA after talking to my mom about Al-anon and I would just appreciate some guidance from those who have been working on this for a while. I just turned 20 yesterday and I have been trying to navigate my relationship with my alcoholic father for the past 4 years. W...

shiloh · shiloh

I feel as though I have had an insight this morning. I have been struggling with scary thoughts, sadness and anxiety,at a time in my life that is supposed to be so peaceful and full of joy. I have a beautiful life, fabulous husband, I live in a gorgeous part of the country I am sober nearly 40 years, I am hea...

david · david

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxnx72ouewA&t=64s

david · david

[https://adultchildren.org/meditation/] -- Edited by david on Monday 27th of May 2019 04:06:27 AM -- Edited by david on Monday 27th of May 2019 04:07:07 AM -- Edited by david on Monday 27th of May 2019 04:04:46 PM

david · david

Hi y'all... I tried to understand boundaries- which were invisible, and ephemeral... so I focussed on personal space- and was mostly aware of other people's personal space. So then I began to focus on my own. I felt that my true self was emerging from the trauma [stored] and the gloom... and it...

david · david

Hi y'all... those Americans are real fanatics on dem der steps... Not so hot on the traditions, apart for the first one or two... [in my view]. On this board we have the steps, traditions, and the concepts... ...that means do have a structure behind us- and safeguards... for embers... member...

david · david

Hi y'all... I am an oldie here. It is Sunday morning already, here in NZ... looks like a warm day- coming up. Been in Alanon for 36 years. ACA took a while to start up here- in this country. And the whole nation only has four groups. Part of my dream/goal ... was to learn enough- with this internati...

david · david

https://themighty.com/2018/09/what-is-a-safe-person/?utm_source=newsletter_trauma&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter_trauma_2019-04-09&fbclid=IwAR16Y0vj7r...

Neos2 · Neos2

Tired of being depressed.Want to cry but feel stuck in my stomach.Thoughts all over the place.Phoned my son and a couple friends but didn't make me feel any better.Am angry also.was punching my bed.havent accepted my sisters death seem to be on a merry go round.got told don't stay in grief.Well how do...

Riley87 · Riley87

hello everyone, I am quite new to this... I actually just discovered this and I find it quite interesting... A little backstory on myself, I grew up with a functioning alcohol as my mother, I struggled quite a bit growing up... she was loving and then quite distant and harsh. She actually ended up in...

annt · annt

I keep feeling suicidal, rage, and sick to my stomach. I don't know how to cope.

david · david

...well, yes it is- in the end. The process of letting go- emotionally just seems extremely hard- impossible even. It does not have to be done here. We adult children are just so resilient. We are born survivors. ... So if you are sitting here- and reading this through- I would count you as a survivo...

Naturalmama406 · Naturalmama406

Hi this is my first attempt at a meeting. I've been struggling with co-dependency that I inherited from my mom. My life has become unmanageable. So I'm doing this workbook called "repeat after me". It's a therapy for adult children of alcoholics. It's very difficult so far but also rewarding. I'm hav...

david · david

Hi y'all... not sure if this shows in the USA...!!! Please let me know- if not... ACA helps me through- gets me through- but Janet offered me hope. Right from the beginning.

david · david

Hi y'all... It is the 24th here already- Sunday morning... do I want to indulge myself by mentioning this first... ...as I write I have to search for a word- like indulge... and more and more often i find it. A clarity- which once eluded me. The phrase was "suffer in silence". This really underlines the d...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	STICKY: SELF CARE_LOVING YOURSELF (Preview) Before you read the twelve steps of self-care, first understand the five things you need to quit doing: 1. Trying to please everyone. You will end up being taken advantage of. Instead, teach kindness to the people around you. Have a head on your shoulders.2. Fearing change. Know that life is ro...	mamalioness	4	658	January 31st by mamalioness
	STICKY: Effects, Defenses and Recovery from Abuse (Preview) Effects, Defenses and Recovery from AbuseNotes on Abuse Effects of Abuse1. Low or no self-esteem 2. Often feels responsible and blames self 3. Inability to trust self and others (may trust, but trusts wrong people) 4. Sense of worthlessness 5. Isolation 6. Sense of being helpless 7. Strong denial...	mamalioness	3	867	Jul 8, 2019 by AprilDenean
	STICKY: How Did You Find Us? (Preview) As Co-Moderators, mamalioness and I are trying to re-energize this site and attract new members. We have several outreach initiatives, and would like to know which ones are working. How did you find out about this site? We hope you join our experience, strength, and hope! In Recovery, Prin...	Mrs_Snoopy	47	961	8 days ago by AprilDenean
	STICKY: MORE characteristics of Adult children and/or CoDa (Preview) Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: · Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship · Inability to feel comfortable when alone · Feelings of being different or not like others · Confusion, or a deep sense of inade...	mamalioness	1	703	Nov 29, 2018 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Adult Child Characteristics (Preview) Adult Child Characteristics1. Adult children guess at what normal is.There is no frame of reference for what it is like to be in a normal household. You also have no frame of reference for what is O.K. to say and feel. In a more typical situation, one does not have to walk on eggs all the time. Because you d...	mamalioness	15	764	Nov 18, 2018 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: the 12 steps to reparenting and reclaiming ourselves & other wisdoms (Preview) By Patricia OGorman Ph.D., and Phil Diaz, M.S.W.Step 1Admitted our powerlessness to change our past that our lives had become unmanageable and became willing to surrender to our love and not to our fear.Step 2Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and an acceptance of the f...	mamalioness	5	856	Jul 9, 2019 by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: 12 steps for adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional families (Preview) We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.M...	mamalioness	8	674	December 1st by mamalioness
	STICKY: Welcome to the ACA program. My story!! (Preview) When I came here 14 years ago, broken, disillusioned, no hope left, I was literally a mess... A friend of mine (when I was about to try again to commit suicide) told me "give ACA 12 steps 30 days...30 days is all I ask, and if it does not help you BE better, THINK better, FEEL better, I won't try and stop you f...	mamalioness	12	1370	Apr 25, 2019 by mamalioness
	STICKY: The Laundry List (Preview) Tony A., the founder of Adult Children of Alcoholics, wrote The Laundry List in 1978. This defines the nature of our ACoA issues; our major problems and common behavior patterns. If you identify with a majority of these issues, this is the place for you! (Excerpted from The Laundry List: The ACoA E...	Mrs_Snoopy	6	935	September 9th by Mrs_Snoopy
	STICKY: Welcome, Newcomers! (Preview) Welcome to Adult Children Anonymous, a forum on the Miracles In Progress site! We were founded in 2004 by John F., who passed away in 2017. An intergroup Transition Committee then formed to handle the bills and business affairs as needed. All trusted servants are volunteers. We roughly follow th...	Mrs_Snoopy	1	834	Mar 17, 2018 by david
	STICKY: Share your story here. ( 1 2 3 4 5 … 8 ) (Preview) Please feel free to share an intro, your story or anything else that will allow us to get to know you here. Welcome to the family. To view the most recent post, click the largest blue number next to the thread heading, or while in the thread, at the bottom of the screen where it says 'pages' and use...	tasha	469	69639	October 9th by CayceFriend
	Where do I start? (Preview) Hi all, I'm just discovering about ACA and stumbled upon this site after listening to a podcast. Where/how do I start this journey?	ChrisJH	0	1	16h ago by ChrisJH
	Where do I start? (Preview) Really... It's such an open question... I'm seekings help. I've dealt with abandonment and approval seeking behaviors and so much more. In a relationship now.. . Maybe. .. Not so sure after last night. . But I'm beginning to realize the effects of my childhood on my life now. .. I'm angry, hurt, tired o...	Gbsb31	8	60	February 4th by mamalioness
	Ready and willing for change (Preview) My path to recovery has had lots of sharp turns. I started attending Al-Anon meeting in June 2019, but after about 3 months I felt I was in the wrong place and started attending AA meetings. I got a sponsor and started working the steps, but again I still get the feeling like I dont belong and I dont feel lik...	flagship2020	6	54	January 31st by Mrs_Snoopy
	Introduction (Preview) Hi, I commented on a post yesterday with a very short intro. I was made aware of ACA by my therapist back in about 1988. When I sat in that first meeting and recognized myself in most of the characteristics of adult children, I knew I belonged, except that I couldn't reconcile the fact there was no alcoh...	SongWoman	3	81	January 28th by mamalioness
	new and lost (Preview) Hello all, I have recently rediscovered ACOA after talking to my mom about Al-anon and I would just appreciate some guidance from those who have been working on this for a while. I just turned 20 yesterday and I have been trying to navigate my relationship with my alcoholic father for the past 4 years. W...	forgrace	7	138	December 26th by mamalioness
	allowing happiness (Preview) I feel as though I have had an insight this morning. I have been struggling with scary thoughts, sadness and anxiety,at a time in my life that is supposed to be so peaceful and full of joy. I have a beautiful life, fabulous husband, I live in a gorgeous part of the country I am sober nearly 40 years, I am hea...	shiloh	4	359	September 7th by david
	A link I found helpful, this morning... (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxnx72ouewA&t=64s	david	0	401	May 28, 2019 by david
	Today's reading from SMR... (Preview) [https://adultchildren.org/meditation/] -- Edited by david on Monday 27th of May 2019 04:06:27 AM -- Edited by david on Monday 27th of May 2019 04:07:07 AM -- Edited by david on Monday 27th of May 2019 04:04:46 PM	david	1	746	May 27, 2019 by david
	Boundaries... (Preview) Hi y'all... I tried to understand boundaries- which were invisible, and ephemeral... so I focussed on personal space- and was mostly aware of other people's personal space. So then I began to focus on my own. I felt that my true self was emerging from the trauma [stored] and the gloom... and it...	david	0	422	May 27, 2019 by david
	Monday morning- and those blimmin steps...!!! (Preview) Hi y'all... those Americans are real fanatics on dem der steps... Not so hot on the traditions, apart for the first one or two... [in my view]. On this board we have the steps, traditions, and the concepts... ...that means do have a structure behind us- and safeguards... for embers... member...	david	0	356	May 26, 2019 by david
	Step 12 to Step 0ne... (Preview) Hi y'all... I am an oldie here. It is Sunday morning already, here in NZ... looks like a warm day- coming up. Been in Alanon for 36 years. ACA took a while to start up here- in this country. And the whole nation only has four groups. Part of my dream/goal ... was to learn enough- with this internati...	david	8	443	November 17th by Mrs_Snoopy
	Being emotionally safe... (Preview) https://themighty.com/2018/09/what-is-a-safe-person/?utm_source=newsletter_trauma&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter_trauma_2019-04-09&fbclid=IwAR16Y0vj7r...	david	2	410	Apr 24, 2019 by The Poet
	Stuck (Preview) Tired of being depressed.Want to cry but feel stuck in my stomach.Thoughts all over the place.Phoned my son and a couple friends but didn't make me feel any better.Am angry also.was punching my bed.havent accepted my sisters death seem to be on a merry go round.got told don't stay in grief.Well how do...	Neos2	4	522	December 27th by Mrs_Snoopy
	quite new (Preview) hello everyone, I am quite new to this... I actually just discovered this and I find it quite interesting... A little backstory on myself, I grew up with a functioning alcohol as my mother, I struggled quite a bit growing up... she was loving and then quite distant and harsh. She actually ended up in...	Riley87	3	761	Mar 29, 2019 by Neos2
	Aftermath of Sexual Abuse. (Preview) I keep feeling suicidal, rage, and sick to my stomach. I don't know how to cope.	annt	23	883	May 20, 2019 by Mrs_Snoopy
	So, do you think this is easy...? (Preview) ...well, yes it is- in the end. The process of letting go- emotionally just seems extremely hard- impossible even. It does not have to be done here. We adult children are just so resilient. We are born survivors. ... So if you are sitting here- and reading this through- I would count you as a survivo...	david	1	536	Mar 12, 2019 by pkc107
	Repeat After Me (Preview) Hi this is my first attempt at a meeting. I've been struggling with co-dependency that I inherited from my mom. My life has become unmanageable. So I'm doing this workbook called "repeat after me". It's a therapy for adult children of alcoholics. It's very difficult so far but also rewarding. I'm hav...	Naturalmama406	5	609	November 14th by AprilDenean
	My heroine- gave me a life worth living... (Preview) Hi y'all... not sure if this shows in the USA...!!! Please let me know- if not... ACA helps me through- gets me through- but Janet offered me hope. Right from the beginning.	david	0	499	Mar 4, 2019 by david
	Readings from SMR,,, Feb 23 and 24... (Preview) Hi y'all... It is the 24th here already- Sunday morning... do I want to indulge myself by mentioning this first... ...as I write I have to search for a word- like indulge... and more and more often i find it. A clarity- which once eluded me. The phrase was "suffer in silence". This really underlines the d...	david	0	516	Feb 23, 2019 by david
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