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Post Info TOPIC: Absolutely overwhelmed


Newbie

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Absolutely overwhelmed


Hello all.  My name is Lauren. I am 30, married, and we just purchased our very first home!!! I've been in counseling for a few years now, between conventional therapy and also DBT. I am really wanting to get some healing done so that I feel ready to actually start our own little family (having kids, etc). A friend of mine told me about this program and I was immediately intrigued. I grew up in a heavily dysfunctional family and a lot of trauma surrounds me and my family. I am very overwhelmed with the information that's been given to me already, but I did just recently purchase all 4 of the books (the BRB, the laundry list workbook, twelve steps of adult children workbook, and the meditation book). I'm a little overwhelmed as to where to go from here. I see that there are some online groups for meetings, is that necessary? Is there supposed to be a "sponsor" or whatever it's called in this program? Sorry for all the questions, I just have no idea to go from here. I know that this is what I need to do to start the healing process to move into being a better version of myself just not sure if I'm totally ready for an entire group experience (as I have severe social anxiety and I am essentially mute when I am around people I don't know/don't trust). I've seen that there are some online, is that going to be all the time or just because of COVID? 

 

Helllllp. 



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Co-Moderator

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Welcome to MIP, Lawwwrrenn! 

I'm glad that you found us!!

It can be like drinking from they fire hose at first.  We have a Newcomers Quick Start Guide to help you!!

There are many tools of recovery; you don't have to use them all at once!  I found that different things worked for me at different times.

There is a chat meeting here at 7 pm Tuesdays (Eastern US).  Most meetings are online now due to COVID; the ACA World Service Organization has a Meeting Finder.

We use the Fellow Traveler model, where we walk together on our recovery journey.  You will see our shares on the main page, where we offer each other experience, strength, and hope.

You are lucky to have found The Program so young, before you start a family and pass it down the generations.

Surf around a bit, and jump in when you feel ready!  Please let us know if you have any other questions.



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In Recovery,

Princess K.



Guru

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Welcome Lawwwrren! I am glad that you found us. PK has given you a good road map for getting started. The Tuesday chat meeting that we offer at 7:00 EST was how I started meetings. Because it is chat, I didnt feel the pressure and anxiety I do in groups. Also, in regards to the books you bought, here is how I have used them:

The meditation book, I just read the reading each day. This is the book I used first, and I continue to follow the readings here on the forum.

Then I started the Twelve Steps Workbook. I was in ACA about 6 months when I started the workbook. This took me several months to complete. The idea here is to take your time and not force the process. Rather than have a sponsor, I posted here as I worked the steps.

During this time, I read chapters in the BRB about the inner child and being a loving parent. I use the BRB as a resource more than reading it cover to cover. But this was just me.

Then, a couple of months ago I bought the Laundry Lists Workbook. Of all the resource material, I am finding this book to be the most challenging. So, my two cents here, would be to save it until you have been in ACA for a while and worked through the Twelve Steps Workbook.

It can be easy to feel overwhelmed when starting something new. Again, my two cents, is to pick one thing, like the SMR, and to that for a few days, then maybe try to find one meeting that you like. I realize that meetings can be daunting with social anxiety. Just remember you dont have to share in the meetings. You can just attend. That is the beauty of this program. You can work it however you need to for your own healing. As you feel like it, read a little of the BRB. Then slowly start the Twelve Steps Workbook. There are even meetings tailored to working the twelve steps.

Please take what works and leave the rest. I am just sharing what has worked for me, but like I said, this program is designed to be flexible to fit every need and lifestyle.

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Co-Moderator

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Hi! And a big welcome. They saying one day at a time, I applied to my program approach. The first thing I did was find a sponsor or a recovery partner and then I got books on the steps I think my first book was Melody Beattys 12 steps for codependence and I was off on a roll after that I just did things one thing at a time adding to my list of literature and the more I shared with my fellow travelers on the group, the more I found that really just sharing with recovery partners was enough for me after my sponsor stabbed me in the back and I fired her, I just share with my Fellow travelers on our site. As to the meetings, we have one here every Tuesday night and it is a very good one. I think sometimes getting overwhelmed is a very easy thing when you think you got to do it all at once which is not true. We go at our own speed in our own comfort zone and it does come to you after youve been here for a while. On our main board there is a abundance of worksheets and all kinds of great stuff to get you going in fact Ive got a steps worksheet I think on the stickies and there are other really great posts that you could Tear into and Get so many benefits from its a great starter package right there on the board stuff that we shared that is on the stickies but that is on the main board. This is for the newcomers to kind of get their toes in the water but the main board is where all your reference stuff is. And it is stuff I still go back to and review and do my journaling on.

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ROSIE,  a work in progress!!! 

Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me

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