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Post Info TOPIC: To all our lovely newbies


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To all our lovely newbies


I remember 2004, February, very clearly,  I was scared..I didn't think the program would help me...I thought I would be shunned at the very least with my  horrific injuries/wounds...like HOW could I share "THAT" with strangers???  and be OK, much less loved??? I just could not see it and some of the posts I saw were "too much"  "too intense"   I just figured  "I CANT do THAT"  

and in my thinking, I stayed stuck, sick, alone, unloved, unvalidated UNTIL the pain got so tiring, I decided to take the plunge and jump in and when I made the decision, to "jump in"  I could not stop posting my pain...it was screaming to get out and I let it...and ya know what???  I never in my whole life saw so much love and acceptance and encouragement....and it STILL is that to this day and NOW, as I get healthier, I can love/accept/encourage OTHERS and thats when the real joy comes in..When you got something in your tank now to GIVE as well as receive

MY sperm donar was also my incest agressor...he molested me through out my teen years, driving me to turn to alcohol and drugs to numb my pain, he force fed me vodka and orange juice to make me more "compliant"  I knew he was evil..dangerous....didn't know the word homicidal sociopathic personality, but that is what he was...in my young mind, I just knew he was dangerous and it was "safer" to comply...cooperate...let him "get off" molesting me, then he will go away for a few days and MAYBE the others in the house will be safe, including me....IF any of us crossed him, a pet would disappear or just be killed outright...a child would be beaten or my mom would be beaten to a pulp....oh yea, I had a "real nice"  life, and I did not think there was ANYwhere I could go, not anywhere...the FEW Christian therapists I went to just did not "get it", they told me I "had to forgive him"  and I would say  "for what???  he wasn't sorry...never made amends, etc"   but those "therapists" set me BACK, because I wasted most of my life, feeling shame because I COULD not,  CANNOT forgive unsorry evil...ALL that time i could have spent on loving and forgive ME for being too small,  too young,  too terrified, too helpless to HELP ME

this wonderful program helped me not only "sort that out" in myself, but I am, for the first time, able to care about me...to love me and what/who I am....

I know how hard it is to "get started"  but once you do, its like being carried over this lovely white cloud , in the arms of the angels,  feeling FREE for the first time...getting started is the hardest part, but once I did it, I never looked back , I never ONCE wanted to quit my loving support grouip....yea, maybe time outs here and there for a few days, processing stuff, but NEVER do I want to leave

May you all be safe, happy and free...I CAN see that for me thanks to this loving community.......

PEACE and love to all



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ROSIE,  a work in progress!!! 

Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me



Co-Moderator

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Posts: 15625
Date:

Thanks for sharing, mamalioness.

Yes, this is truly a special place where we are accepted just the way we are!

There are no "outcasts" here.  Our stories are different, but we have arrived at the same place on the road to recovery.

We hope you will set up an account and join us; then you can see all the great shares on our Main Page!



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In Recovery,

Princess K.



Co-Moderator

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Posts: 9105
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And this is NOT a contest as to "how bad or not bad" your pain was/is...pain is pain..no matter the source or longevity or intensity...Pain is pain...No matter what---EVERYONE who needs this group BELONGS

__________________

ROSIE,  a work in progress!!! 

Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me



Guru

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Posts: 2717
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Thanks for sharing your story, Rosie. After being in ACA a year and a half now, I can say the same thing. I had been in therapy for many years but I knew something was missing. I felt angry and unheard. I felt needy and anxious, and I couldnt figure out what I was doing wrong.

When I found ACA and read the Laundry List and The Problem, I knew I had found the answer. Because this is a spiritual program that focuses on self care, I began to learn how to love myself. Loving myself was talked about in therapy, but what did that look like? I had never seen love or acceptance without strings until I found this group.

Working my program will be a life long process. I know I will grow and change just like I have this past year and a half. Even if I dont feel hopeful or joyful every day, I know where it exists. I know I have felt these feelings and for the first time I can remember the memories around those moments. I have a path that can lead me out of my past and into my future through ACA and this group.

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Co-Moderator

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((((((((((((((((Orange))))))))))))))))))))))) beautifully said and yea, I may not, either, feel hopeful or joyful EVERY day, but on those down days, I NOW, finally know what to do to take care of myself and get me back connected to myself and my higher power and pure L O V E

__________________

ROSIE,  a work in progress!!! 

Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me



Co-Moderator

Status: Online
Posts: 15625
Date:

Thanks for sharing, Orange.

If you are new here, check out the Welcome Newcomers Quick Start Guide that Orange wrote, which is pinned at the top of the Newcomer page.

We're glad that you are here!! 

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In Recovery,

Princess K.

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