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Im a single mom and an only child of an alcoholic mother. From a young age, I always felt like I was outside looking in. I?ve been terrified of ending up alone because for many reasons. One is that I know when my parents die, it?ll just be me. And I wanted to start my own family so I could belong somewhere. But I always felt like even this was out of reach - like I would never be able to find someone to love me.
now that Im a single mom, I feel isolated by this at times, too. And Im afraid my loneliness will affect my son.
today it feels extra painful because I just envision all of these families around me celebrating the holiday. I have friends and family, but it feels like they all have their own families to spend time with. I feel like Ill always be second choice. Ill always have to try and be extra likeable so I dont end up alone. Im so tired of it all. I want to feel like I belong somewhere.
