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its me,tired but thankful to be a part of a great groups like mip ,
it was hard growing up in a alcoholic home,in my childhood home there were no disapline what so ever unless u disturbed the af while he watched his news on the nights he was sober which werent but few,
i can remember walking on eggshells scared i was gonna disturb him and he go into a rage ,breaking things slinging belt around threatening me n siblings,,i did put a childhood pic up me n my sister ,she on left and im on the right, we were very close back in those days ,not today,ive had to break off all contact with my people,i do call my a father every onced in a while,does feel good to my heart to just hear my peoples voice ,ive learned to forgive my af and forgave my self,he is very sick with this desease as is all of my ppl relatives to,it goes way beyond my people ,this desease spreads far n wide never ending,until someone decides to make it stop ,n that 1 is me,i feel like i was the chosen one to break this deadly cycle.
anyway got that out here,,,real reason im here is my fur baby has been very sick ,think he maybe dieing on me ,ive been feeding him pedialyte through a syrenge and pepto bismol.
he is 13 yrs old 4 half lb yorky,be 14 in august,,yes almost 14 beautiful heart warming years ive had with him n im still not ready to give him up,i so understand it is part of the life cycle and a dogs life is short ,you animal lovers out there know what im saying n how i feel,
it has been a huge learning experience for me ,before i received him 13 yrs ago i didnt want no animal ,never had a animal ,i didnt care about them but this little feller has changed my whole entire outlook on animals,,,they are so deserving of a good life and yes there is a dog heaven,i do believe that now.
im not good at coping with death either,,i would prolly breath for my furbaby (Milo)if i could keep him alive,that would only be selfish in myself trying to prolong something thats got to happen sooner or later,,,right now he is actually walking a bit,yay.ive isolated myself inside this house on account of him,i was having to feed him every 20 minutes through a syrenge so if i had to get something it was straight there n back in a hurry,dont want him to be all alone in case he does die,if he is feeling better tomorrow i believe im gonna take him for a car ride maybe walk him if he feels like it.....he is soo spoiled rotten,lol,he did win me over from the get go,,he knows it..he is a stinker.very smart.maybe my hp will grant us another year together........im not planning and dought ill ever have any more animals to get close to,,,the pain of losing them is ,can be excrutionating when i thought id lost him earlier i felt my whole body going numb as i reached down to touch his limp body then he came alive all the sudden,,thank gosh......
I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby. I had two live a very fine life with me. I found the best remedy was to find my next fur baby at the shelter.
Keep coming back, The Program works if you work it!!
HI LU. I am a master at walking on egg shells.. I still do it. With everyone. It is something I will most likely always do. I think it may be why I enjoy being alone. No need to even think about egg shells. It's just me. Thank you for your share. Sad to hear about your fur baby. Hugs to you.
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April
"We were entirely ready to begin the healing process with the aid of our Higher Power" Tony A's Step 6
