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I am an oldie here. It is Sunday morning already, here in NZ... looks like a warm day- coming up.
Been in Alanon for 36 years. ACA took a while to start up here- in this country. And the whole nation only has four groups.
Part of my dream/goal ... was to learn enough- with this international group- to contribute to ACA growth around here.
As a kid I lost my capacity to learn. All the signals around me were confused. The adults in my world acted like kids- a lot of the time.
But they carried great authority- control.
But as a kid- I took that- as a given... ...and imitated, as you do.
So re-learning, de-learning; has been quite a chore!
In the end I would want our main sharing platform- to carry on- have a life of its own. Let other people carry on with the opportunities that I, for one, enjoyed. I tend to shift back into the MIP Alanon, for a bit of balance.
Also I reach out into my own community... into my own world. I believe that our immediate family often has first call on out time and attention.
And our selves- our own person... we forget to heed. To care for. !!! ...
Getting this balance right has been a chore for me. It is ongoing. I am doing well... with some issues... tidying up...
I would describe my own life as robust- active- engaged with my world. I was never going to be a sports tyro! But I am my own person- I have guts and spirit, as well... looking forward to my day!
We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure.
I do self-talk a lot! Not afraid of it. I don't need to keep top-posting. [I used to call this "hogging the board"!]
There is a balance here- which I found by going to the edges of the boundary- and gently pushing the boundary.
Currently I am reviewing what I learned in the Yellow Workbook. Some people grind their teeth- over this manual, THE STEPS, and other stuff we talk about in ACA recovery. There is no one way in- or one way through...
...the core, for me, was to release the stored trauma locked away in my train-wreck of a body. And I am still doing this.
As a kid I suffered from periods of gross neglect. Wet and cold conditions still trigger me. [Along with a whole lot of other things!}
But my body feels cold sensations- as well as pain- and I am still dealing with this. ...
not sure if it will heal- in my lifetime- but I am trying... to let go...
...giving it my best shot- another words.
But- putting that to one side- my topic is Promise 6.
The promises are a doozy.
I do live in a fortunate country- in the southern hemisphere. And I live in a very fortunate part of this country. I have been in the USA- as recently as November last year- and I fear that some communities, and some parts of the country- might struggle to come near to ACA Promise 6.
Maybe not. Maybe I am mistaken. We adult children are incredibly resilient. Born survivors. And this promise may work for anyone! .
I live in my original home town. It was a sleepy, dusty sheep-raising community. It had been a gold mining district. Alanon and AA came along with the construction crews- who came here to build a large dam in the river.
This bought changes- and a pretty gauche form of prosperity. We have a roaring motorsport park on the outskirts of town.
I may always need this kind of support. This technique- I call "squirrelling". A semi-public kind of journal. Only one or two of you may read this- but then; in years to come someone may riffle through my postings- or the postings of any one of our members- and find the guidance they most sorely need!
There was a great ginormous hole in my world. Of loneliness and despair. Hopelessness. And that had become chronic. At my wit's end. Feeling very, very sick.
The sun is coming up over the mountain now... great light. It will be a warm May day- in fall, here in NZ...
Thank you for your post, david. I just got my yellow workbook. Haven't written in it...but, I have read the big red book.... eerily relatable. I hadn't realized there was help for people like me. I grew up in an abusive and alcoholic family, but have largely been in denial until now. I still live with them, but am working on getting out. Have a blessed day. (I look forward to meetings online. There aren't any where I live).
Although it is important for a person who has to overcome substance abuse problems to want help
but quite often, the person is told or asked by a friend or a family member to seek treatment. In fact,
evidence recommends that individuals under high-pressure treatment schemes do better than others,
even though they did not enter the treatment willingly.
Thank you so much David for your posts. Your view on things is so relatable to me. I have recently received my own Yellow Workbook. And like you, I have yet to write in it for the same reason that you mentioned. I felt that there may be someone out there that needs it more than me. But you are so right! I bought it for ME. It has already opened my mind to so much that I grew up thinking was normal. For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me, because I wasn't like the family unit that I grew up with. I realized after reading the Laundry List (and several posting on here) that that there is nothing wrong with me, I am not broken or wrongly made, I am a product of my family environment and I adapted to survive. Now, I need to work on healing myself ( working the Steps and re-learning and de-learning as you put it) and finding out who I really am.
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