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Awful boundaries, and breaches of trust affect us really, really bad. it was not our fault- not our doing... ...finding release from this may seem impossible.
I suffered from gross neglect- where my family was expected to guide and protect me. A betrayal of me, as a child and a person. ...
I told my parents what happened. My Mom says I am lying. I think maybe she doesn't want to accept it. My Dad gave my brother $500 right after I told him. The heart breaking reality is it destroyed my marriage. I loved my husband and I can never get him back. I loved him with all my heart.
Yes, abuse and neglect destroys our ability to feel. And it make relationships impossible, friendships difficult, indeed. Because we have been robbed of our ability to trust. ....
I was molested by a neighbor repeatedly when I was 5 and 6 years old and raised in an abusive alcoholic environment. It takes so long to finally realize how much these things affect us. I married an abusive husband and am just now really (about a year in) entering recovery although I have had lots of therapy and been in another 12 step program. Make yourself and your healing a priority, you are worth it. You are in the right place.
My sperm donor was my offender, my entire teenage years were spent gratifying his degenerate needs. He didnt succeed in raping me but I had to gratify him with very sickening foreplay that really screwed me up for healthy relationships in that I just cannot stand for most men to be affectionate with me because if they say something wrong or they act lecherous or anything, I get triggered and I have to get the hell away from them. Being abused by someone in a situation of trust is the deepest and darkest Betrayal that one can do to another
I am damaged perhaps for life but there is good news in that years of recovery and being loved and being believed and being validated, I am beginning to love myself and treat myself better. You can do it too. It takes a lot of work to unlearn the horrible dark things that we were subjected to when we were younger and helpless and powerless, it is trauma of the worst kind. I am glad you found us
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ROSIE, a work in progress!!!
Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me--AND___"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
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