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Hi Terri: YES, I have felt it many times, not as bad now with work in program, but what you are feeling is entirely normal for us ACOA's..
With me, I was hurt so bad by people, I am afraid to "let them in" again, but on the other hand, I crave sharing, chatting up with someone, and especially a HUG!!! Love!!! I won't "settle" for crumbs like I did in the past..As I connect with me, I don't feel like I am gonna die anymore, tho, yes, at times, I do feel that need for human love and sharing. That said, I still am going to be careful, do their actions match their words??, do they have a healthy self love/respect?? Do they respect my boundaries??? Just some things that they must display over a length of time before I give my heart and trust..This goes not just for man/woman relationships, but ANY friendship...I am more discerning now, more careful, more observing and when I see the red flags of abuse or deceipt or other toxic behaviors, I RUN!!!
I have no family here and not many friends, but the ones I do have are good..trustworthy..deserving of my love..My circle has shrunk greatly as I grow healthier, I am more picky
I'm glad you found us...Keep coming back..This program truly works...
IN SUPPORT
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ROSIE, a work in progress!!!
Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me--AND___"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
Yes, I was also lonely and depressed. I picked boyfriends who would show me any crumb of affection to fill the hole in my soul. This didn't work out very well, and left me lonely and resentful toward men. If I had continued on this path I would probably not be on this earth today.
From our World Service Organization page:
The program is Adult Children of Alcoholics. The term adult child is used to describe adults who grew up in alcoholic or dysfunctional homes and who exhibit identifiable traits that reveal past abuse or neglect.
Our 30 years of experience has shown that adult children who attend our meetings, work the Twelve Steps, and find a Higher Power experience astonishing improvement in body, mind, and spirit. Ours is one of the few Twelve Step fellowships that embraces the difficult task of trauma work, which can often lead to an exciting journey to the Inner Child or True Self. Along with sponsorship, we encourage informed counseling to help the adult child accomplish the greatest level of emotional healing from an abusive upbringing.
There is a better life through The Program! We can figure out why we feel the way we do, and how to do things differently. We don't have to ruin our whole lives with the baggage of the past.
If you click on the New Member link on the top right you can join us and see our daily readings and personal shares. Pull up a chair and join our experience, strength, and hope!
I agree with Princess K. Had it not been for the program, I probably wouldnt have survived. I wouldve died at my own hand
The program we are talking about is the ACA 12 steps program
__________________
ROSIE, a work in progress!!!
Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me--AND___"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
