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Dear Fellow Travellers, Silke here, adult child from an alcoholic and dysfunctional family.
I am relatively new to the world of ACA though I knew for a long time my dad is an alcoholic (sober these days) and my mother is a co-dependent with a narcissistic personality.
Joining the forum here is really to expand the different streams and tools with which I am trying to reach recovery.
My Dad and Stepdad were alcoholics, and my Mom was Narcissistic. We have many common traits growing up in dysfunction, whether or not substance abuse was present. I am posting The Laundry List in case you haven't seen it. If you identify with most of the characteristics, you're in the right place!!
We share experience, strength, and hope on our Main Page. Check it out and join in when you feel comfortable!
Keep coming back, it works if you work it!
The Laundry List 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic
We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
We became addicted to excitement.
We confuse love and pity and tend to love people we can pity and rescue.
We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
Greetings! You are in the right place. Alcoholic parents have a tremendous negative impact on their children and the reason why we are called adult children is because we are adults now but we still handle life and stressors especially like children because our growth was stunted. The main board has all kinds of good stuff to Peruse and post on. So help yourself and welcome
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ROSIE, a work in progress!!!
Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me--AND___"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
