Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

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Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families Home Page -> Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families -> Welcome Newcomers! -> Newcomer. Looking for some light.
Post Info TOPIC: Newcomer. Looking for some light.
Ron


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Newcomer. Looking for some light.
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Hey everyone. I'm Ron, 23 years old, and an adult-child of two alcoholic parents. 

I am a newcomer here. I have been working through ACoA trauma since adolescence. I started therapy at 15 years old, and have been in therapy since... but I feel like I am at a stand-still and am going nowhere with my recovery. I thought I worked through almost everything I had to, but it has become very clear that I am still at the very beginning of my journey. I didn't realize how much this trauma was still affecting me until I started dating my girlfriend- we have a very strong relationship that is conducive to growth; and ACoA habits, flashbacks, and bad though patterns have noticeably gotten in the way of our growth. 

I am hoping that through several ACA groups I will be able to recover from my past. I'm not entirely sure exactly where to go, or what to do... but I feel like this is a good place to be. I want to learn how to confront my past trauma without fear... Actually... I really want to learn how to confront life without fear. 

 

Thanks for reading :) 

Ron Seonaidh 



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Mrs_Snoopy


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Welcome to MIP, Ron!! 

It sounds like you have found the right place!

Different tools have worked for me at different times.  You might surf around this site until you feel comfortable sharing.  We also have a chat meeting 7 pm (Eastern) on Tuesdays.

In addition to the Newcomers Quick Start Guide, we have a post on How To Get The Most From MIP.  Most of our shares are on the Main Page; you will see a link to it on the top left.

Recovery can be overwhelming at first; I encourage you to Easy Does It!!

We're her to walk with you on your journey.... 



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In Recovery,

Princess K.
Orange


Guru

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Welcome Ron! I also was in therapy for a long time and found it lacking. It wasnt until I found ACA much later that my life has turned a corner. I have been in ACA for almost 2 years, and these days I can see how change, even positive change, can cause me stress and set off old patterns. So now that I am aware, I work to be patient with myself snd realize that recovery is a process.

Like PK said, there is a lot of information here. I also agree that Easy Does It is a good slogan to use.

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mamalioness


Moderator_in service

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Hi Ron: I hear you on the not feeling like youre getting anywhere, recovery is kind of a funny thing its like two steps forward and one backward there are times when I see huge progress with myself and then there are other times I am throwing up my hands wondering did I lose my program somewhere do I need to send out the sheriff to find my program. Its not a static thing, its very fluid very changeable but trust me you did the right thing coming here because I am going to tell you honest to goodness, peer to peer support is the best thing a person could get because weve been there, we know where youre coming from. And we can share our experience and our strength and our hope now when you get on the main board youll see some awesome materials that are labeled with a sticky and just wonderful material on the steps and the slogans and just a general daily shares. So jump in when you feel up to it and what I did when I first got in was to read others and just soak in what they had to say and then I would give them my feedback on what I did or what I experienced and just knowing youre not alone. And you are not alone

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ROSIE,  a work in progress!!! 

Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me--AND___"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
Brad Lackey


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Hello my name is Brad and I am 41 years old. I have been going through a divorce that has been ongoing for 2 years (my x wife had addiction and not being truthful issues this was that reason for the divorce of a 20 year marriage) . I was raised in a home that was not very stable due to alcohol. My mom didn't drink but dad did and it caused many problems for our family. I made a promise to my self that I would never be like my father and I have held up to that promise, the down side to that is I have not been the husband/ father I need to be due to spending so much time and energy on holding my promise I made to my self (I am proud of my self for not turning to drugs or alcohol). I am now in a new relationship and the same problems I had still exists. I have a very hard time trusting others that are close to me. I have a very hard time being questioned about things I have done mostly due to being scared to just simply be honest with my girlfriend now. This causes masses stress to her and myself. When me and the girlfriend are not getting along very well or even when I don't get my way I find my self talking or reaching out to other women and naturally this cause arguments between me and her. i am seeking help with this and I am looking so forward to a new Brad and a fresh positive outlook on life.

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brad lackey
Mrs_Snoopy


Member

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Welcome to MIP, Brad! 

I'm glad you found us!!

We don't have all the answers here, but The ACA Program can help you take a look at yourself and become a better person.  That will help you attract good people in your life, and distance yourself from the toxic ones!

Our shares are on the Main Page; you will see a link in the upper left.

Pull up a chair and join our experience, strength, and hope!! 



__________________

In Recovery,

Princess K.
mamalioness


Moderator_in service

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Posts: 18272
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Hello Brad. Yes! We have a treasure trove of shares and stuff you can do for worksheets all on the main board. This board is basically just for newcomers to get a feel of whats going on and then when they feel like the next step where they really want to work on serious recovery, they get on the main board because thats where we really do a lot of loving and healing work with each other. I dont know what I would do without this program and the wonderful people in this community. So when you feel comfortable, come on and join us on the main board. I can promise you you wont be disappointed you will read shares from others and youre going to go oh I can relate to that and what the person did or is doing to help themselves. Like I said I would be lost without this community

__________________

ROSIE,  a work in progress!!! 

Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me--AND___"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
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