Thanks for sharing, Irishgirl, and welcome!!! Thanks for sharing, PK.

I also struggle with safe relationships. I have a history of picking relationships that are emotionally unavailable.

I agree with PK that everyones journey to recovery is different. There is a lot of information just on this forum alone, plus books, websites, and meetings. My journey started with adultchildren.org This is the ACA website. I read the Laundry List, The Problem, The Solution and the Steps. I found so much relief and comfort in reading these words. I then found MIP. This group has served as a meeting, fellow travelers offering support much like a sponsor, and a place to learn new life skills. From there I worked the steps using The Yellow Workbook. This has been my journey for about 16 months, and I continue to grow every day.

Thank you Mrs Snoopy, Orange and AprilDenlan for responding back I appreciate it so much. I don't know why I thought it would be a quick fix most that do probable think the same thing. I am in thearpy it was what brought me here. I was so perplexed why I attracted so many alcoholic friends and boyfriends and I don't drink, smoke or do drugs I never have. I do love a good time and lots of fun but I never needed anything, I loved life. I was married 22 years and it was like a noose around my neck. I'm a free spirit, the beat to my own drum, independent and very determined to accomplish. I've been divorced really happily 24 years. I'm an Artist. My background was as you can see very difficult. My Dad took care of us he was loving and a great Dad an alcoholic and my thearpist told me that's where all the problems come in. I felt comfort from him and that was familiar for me and why I attracted girlfriends and boyfriends that we're all alcoholic's or drug addicts. I want to change that so much. The last alcholic friend I said good bye to about two weeks ago I just could not listen to her any longer. She'd call me at 10, 11 midnight Pacific time I'm on the east coast 3 hrs different and rambles on drunk falling off the chair and the phone goes flying. She would ask me how I am and never give me a chance to answer her she'd go on and on about herself. If I did get the chance she some how related it to herself and that was my input for the night. I had never met someone that made such detrimental choices to her well being in my life. I reached a point of I can't do this anymore we we're friends 12 years. We met at work no one liked her I felt bad for her that's me not paying attention to the "why" do people not like her but feeling bad for her the underdog and befriend her. That's another problem of mine I'm always (I call it help the little bird with a broken wing) trying to help someone now that's to my detriment. I get yelled at for giving money to people with signs saying there homeless.. I'm always trying to help people I have this overwhelming need to help everyone that needs help. I can actually put myself in that persons shoes and feel there pain my thearpist tells me I'm an empath I had to look it up I had no clue what it even meant. I have to agree that's me. I was yelled at by a friend I had just bought a coffee and cookie I walked out the door there is a homeless person with clothes on not weather appropriate I have him my coffee to warm him up and my cookie to go along with it. I can't watch news I three months ago got rid of my package internet and tv I could not bear to watch the news or a regular movie. Everyone is like thank God you don't what all is going on.... I don't I downloaded an app that blocks certain web pages. Just hearing from my family what was going on sent me into stress hives on my face it was unbearable I had to go on prednisone to stop it but when that alcholic friend called I was in agony finally was able to pen point she was part of the problem since she's gone I get then now and again nothing like when I was talking to her thank God.