PROTECT YOUR ANONYMITY! This site, the chat/meeting room and message board is viewable by the general online public. When registering on the message board use only your first name and last initial to identify yourself. On both the board and in the chat room, use a nickname that others outside of Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families do not know you by.
I hope you are enjoying the great readings and posts we are sharing with you.
Help is HERE!! We CAN change for the better..We CAN go from survivor to Thriver...WE CAN!!!
I came from the most wicked kind of abuse by a PARENT!!! One who was supposed to love/cherish/nurture/protect me..well, HE was the one I needed protection from..I had no safe place to go..The streets, hanging out with other troubled kids were safer than my own home, and "mommie dearest" was a raging drunk who reminded me of that Joan Crawford movie, starring Faye Dunaway as JC as the raging drunk in "mommie dearest" taken from the book by daughter Christina..Boy that movie looked just like the "mother dearest" that I had...so BOTH parents did a "job" on me..
Needless to say, It would be decades after I ran away, only to take my inner demons with me, before I would find recovery and that was 15 years, almost ago..
I am in my second, literally, lifetime..I am no where near where I want to be, but I am a hell of a distance from where i used to be..
If recovery can fix up a mess like I was, it can help anyone..Back in the "darkness days" I kept repeating my abuse..Bad relationships, self abusing with verbal abuse on myself, gravitating to empty well people who had nothing good to share with me...the users and takers and the "use and dump" kind of people...Bad bosses at work..I felt like I had "velcro" on me for the bad people..It was MY sickness drawing them to me....I began to hate people..(I'm still not really a people person, wary of folks until they prove they are safe) but , really, I was starting to hate humans, until I realized that it was MY BAD choices..MY sickness needing familiarity
The good news is that the healthier I got, the price to my heart and my trust went up..I learned boundaries and discernment..let them SHOW me they are safe!! I could write a book on the old , sick me versus the new, healthier me who is moving forward every day...that list on the "sticky" board about characteristics?? I met just about all of them...and one by one, I am either overcoming or learning to manage them...
I am probably between survivor and thriver...Not a victim anymore....NO chance of that anymore , but more of a survivor who is learning to thrive and reaching the "thriving" state....
I see hope..I see positive change in me..I CAN!!!
YOU CAN!!!
If you like us here?? You will love us on the main board for members..
So check us out..Bask in the genuine love and acceptance ACA has to offer and choose LIFE!!! a life that is good!!!!
Lets all get better together!!!
IN SUPPORT,
Rose, aka mamalioness, co-moderator with Mrs. Snoopy, aka, Princess K
__________________
ROSIE, a work in progress!!!
Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me--AND___"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
Although our stories are different, many of us share similar characteristics from growing up in alcoholic or dysfunctional homes. If you can identify with The Laundry List, this is the right place for you!
My Narcissistic Mom raised me to believe that I couldn't do anything right. My alcoholic Dad was out partying and womanizing and did not support our family. They divorced when I was 7, and she remarried another alcoholic when I was 12. Suddenly, our family expanded by four Step siblings. Arguments were constant.
I thought this was normal. My Brother said when he had dinner with his friends, their families didn't fight!
In adulthood, I was always depressed but didn't understand why. No wonder, when Mom told me that "fun" was a waste of time! I latched on to one alcoholic/dysfunctional boyfriend after the next. My "picker" was broken, but I blamed it on men!
Thanks to the ACA Program, I am getting better one day at a time, and learning to enjoy life.
If this speaks to you, pull up a chair and join our experience, strength, and hope! Click on the New Member link on the top right you can join us and see our daily readings and personal shares.
In Recovery,
Princess K.
The Laundry List 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic
We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
We became addicted to excitement.
We confuse love and pity and tend to love people we can pity and rescue.
We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
Thank you Mrs. snoopy for this really great stuff here., I sure identify without laundry list
__________________
ROSIE, a work in progress!!!
Keep it simple__Easy does it__Keeping the focus on me--AND___"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown