Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser: 
· Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship 
· Inability to feel comfortable when alone 
· Feelings of being different or not like others 
· Confusion, or a deep sense of inadequacy 
· Feeling either totally responsible or completely without blame 
· Extreme dependency on your mate, and an intense fear of abandonment 
· Unyielding and in need of constant control over all aspects of the relationship 
· Extremely low self esteem and may be very self-critical 
· Difficulty in developing or sustaining meaningful relationships. Long line of failed relationships of which the codependent believes the other partner was always to blame 
· Lies for no reason. Creates a 'false self' that the outside world sees 
· Denies or refuses to recognize that his actions are not 'normal' behaviors 
· Denies feelings of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, or shame with self 
· Gets bored easily, needs to feel excitement 
· Difficulty in following a simple project through. Inability to concentrate 
· Unhappy. Joyless. Unable to to relax and have fun 
· Depression 
· Sadness 
· Fearful of change 
· Intense lack of self-confidence. Inability to make even simple decisions or choices 
· Denies feelings of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, or shame with self 
· Inability to positively see alternatives to bad situations. Pessimism 
· Isolation from friends and family 
· Believe there is something wrong with you. Think you need to change to make your partner happy 
· Fear of making mistakes 
· Feel anxiety when faced with anger and criticism 
· Confusion between love and pity 
· Tendency to be a rescuer and seeks those who 'need' you