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The ACA Promises 1) We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves. 2) Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis. 3) Fear of authority figures and the need to people-please will leave us. 4) Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us. 5) As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become more tolerant of weaknesses. 6) We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure. 7) We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives. 8) We will choose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves. 9) Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set. 10) Fears of failure and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices. 11) With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviors. 12) Gradually, with our Higher Powers help, we will learn to expect the best and get it.
i called it FRESH For real- experience strength and hope. FRESH HEART.
HEART pans out as: Healthy Emotions, Affection, Respect and Trust.
The 'respect' component is about healthy boundaries. Within our groups we can create these boundaries through trial and error- if we go about gently.
Nudging and tweaking.
Some of our members are very angry, very scared, or both. I always say: it takes one to know one. I know what that is like, personally.
I do not tolerate really gross behaviour anymore. But because I was like that- absolutely- I am often able to get under the radar and still communicate with the lost and angry.
I know myself it took me two or three attempts to get into a group- because I was so lost and angry.
I was not angry at the group- and knew it. But my defence systems were always on high alert!
There are changes in the wind with ACA D-F. A re-written 12 Steps. And a new manual- The Little Big Red Book.
The Tony A book 'The Laundry List' is out of print- but it is available online I think... ???
My mantra was, and still is, "Participation is the key to harmony."
Our behaviour and demeanour may not be perfect. [So why else would we want to come here?]
We may be meek and very compliant. [And sometimes both extremes!]
We are slowly growing and understanding about why this is... the main one being- fear of abandonment.
We all have very good reasons for this fear. The Promises give us a road map. ...
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