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Post Info TOPIC: Consistency - never being wrong


Status: Offline
Posts: 517
Consistency - never being wrong


One of the things I have suffered a lot from and still do is "The need for consistency":

Upon having done wrong, one denies that something is wrong to do still, as one would have to accept that what one did in the past was wrong also.
The idea is that acceptance of having done wrong in the past would involve self-hatred, self-punishment and a collective response of demotivation even though to my experience it turns out somewhat different.

Once you accept that something do is wrong, you have to accept that doing something is wrong which requires habitual change and you also have to accept that what you did in the past was wrong.
Accepting wrong in the past generates a "duty" of making it up/righting the wrong; despite this not always being something that makes sense - in fact that can take more from where you try to make it up than continuing what you do; indirectly.

It is strange; I was good at apologizing where I wronged someone as a child; however I was never wrong, ever.

My parents either; always perfect and not having wronged,

To an extent where I guess they did not "risk" being wrong and always did what was right, where they had "backing" in being right.
I did not learn to take the risk of being wrong, nor learning where I was wrong and doing something about it.
Once they said that they may not have been good enough at me learning how to set limits/in a group striking back where someone harmed.
Always this need of being superior towards me in terms of "whom did right and wrong" - I was pointed at plentily though.


Notice how I write; where I suffered, what was done and general wrongdoing:
When I write "one" I do so in observing a pattern of behavior carried not also by me however by several others, not taking sole ownership and describing it as a collective issue.

-- Edited by ieei on Thursday 12th of October 2017 06:47:12 AM



Status: Online
Posts: 6360



Before she passed my mum realised that she had made a big wrong- and she made amends. I had challenged here, in a letter.

I don't really believe in making amends willy-nilly- that is no cure for abandonment. I just make amends for items I need to.

By learning to speak- ah kin sift our blame from shame- over time...

My dad- never really. Maybe he believed everything was other people's fault?


Early on in ACA I picked up this saying- we have the right to be wrong. Without mistakes there is no learning... wink...


  short and sweet...  a goal, anyway...





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