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Post Info TOPIC: Feeling unsettled...


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 5951
Date:
Feeling unsettled...


 

 I know I have to "get off the bus" at some time. Let the group have a life of its own.

Stick around as an alumni- an old timer...

I did a lot for myself here... but also i wanted to seek ways that ACA could work, and work well. The idea of pedagogy... teaching or training method sprung to mind.

The idea of "no cross-talk" was tested and re-tested here. I cannot describe what we achieved. But I felt there was a level of involvement that worked and keeps working.

Letting newcomers meet and greet newcomers took a bit of discipline for me. I heard that the previous grouping here fell apart over accusations of stalking. This, or other stuff, has not happened here.

I was,and still am "a jack of all trades" and I wanted to be a success at something. ACA is something I could become a success at. This was one of my drivers. I sensed that my sister and brothers, and other peers who jeer at me. And try to take it off me. Tall poppy stuff.

This was internal stuff I had to wrestle with.

Me, and my true self, seems to have won out...    



-- Edited by david on Wednesday 11th of October 2017 11:06:48 AM

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He poto, he reka...  short and sweet... the latter is a saying of mum's. 

 

 

 

 



Guru

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Posts: 634
Date:

Being a success at smth -this resonates with me. And in the same time it scares me. I  look at this idea - and I am not sure - coud this be an echo of perfectionism, the hymn of Mighty Achievers (who exist somewhere  - in my head mostly-  and do not approve of the way I spend my life)..?



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Guru

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Posts: 4194
Date:

IMHO, recovery is a lifetime journey.  There is no destination where I no longer need any tools.  I am better than I was, but I can always slip back into sick behaviors.

"Success" is a nebulous word which depends on criteria to define it.  How does one "succeed" at ACA???    Success for ones self, or others???

Something to ponder.... confuse

In Recovery,

Princess K.



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Guru

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Posts: 5951
Date:

Mrs_Snoopy wrote:

 How does one "succeed" at ACA???    Success for ones self, or others???


               Hmmm I have you, Princess, Ula and J-gal floating around here this morning- all I need... smilesmilesmilesmile...



__________________

He poto, he reka...  short and sweet... the latter is a saying of mum's. 

 

 

 

 



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 724
Date:

"I heard that the previous grouping here fell apart over accusations of stalking."

How the hell did that work exactly? That makes me nervous.






-- Edited by Jgirl on Wednesday 11th of October 2017 12:40:45 PM

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Guru

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Posts: 5951
Date:

 

 It would make a male more nervous, J-gal...

 I was accused of much worse, at one time... the accusation was justified, in the adult child sense.

But no, not for me as a target. Not at all!

I worked closely with Tasha at the time... to ensure that other person stayed on... and things worked out well.

I saw it as a rite of passage for the group- it created trust and more... something I can manage in my own world now, too... removal of another source of shame. [The shame of being a male.]

[I am certain you will get the gist of what i am saying here...] smile...



__________________

He poto, he reka...  short and sweet... the latter is a saying of mum's. 

 

 

 

 



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 724
Date:

Mrs_Snoopy wrote:

 

"Success" is a nebulous word which depends on criteria to define it.  

 


For me, a big success has been realizing I have to separate myself from others in many different areas in a boundary, learning where I end and another begins. I have been affected more than I know by others opinions and behavior and I needed to become aware of that. I don't think I was cognizant of how much, although distressed  I saw too much. I have to look at why I was probably burying it. I couldn't change it so I had to find a way to live with it and accept it without letting it sink in too much to hurt or affect me much? Over the long haul it did, it was just too much. Not all the answers yet of course but a big beginning for me. I was living the scapegoat identity. I felt guilty and ashamed at times for about anything that had to do with being myself. I want to be myself, chips fall where they may. I can be a little much and not to others tastes but that's OK, we are just not a match, they are probably not good for me either. Some people appreciate my - at -times bluntness. 

My husband appreciated my guts and the benefits of that even if he didn't want to acknowledge it.






-- Edited by Jgirl on Wednesday 11th of October 2017 08:28:37 PM

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Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 724
Date:

"It would make a male more nervous, J-gal..."

Oh, got it (I think).








-- Edited by Jgirl on Thursday 12th of October 2017 06:44:33 PM

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