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Post Info TOPIC: Going thru the motions


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1607
Date:
Going thru the motions


Just spent an hour or so with my daughter and grandkids.We played some video games.I was so numb.Glad I went we had pizza and talked.After my daughter said she was meeting her mom and sister at the farmers market to morrow.It bummed me out a bit.They all talk regularly and I'm the afterthought.My one daughter I saw tonight tries but somehow.Ive gotta let go.The life I've imagined with them may never be.I can't even be present with my grandkids.Its like I'm walking around in a dream land.This disassociation sucks.Dont know how to get out of it.Just feeling stressed and numb.Ive been on the outside of this scenario a long time.My add is so off the charts but can Iget any help with it.No.Everyone says wait or I don't want to deal with it,well it's really causing me problems.Thanks for listening.Tomorrows another day thankful I saw my grandsons.



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Chris


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 4194
Date:

Thanks for sharing, Neos!

In Recovery,

Princess K.



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Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 480
Date:

Thanks Chris/Neos....Feeling is better than not feeling as far as I'm concerned.

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Peace and Love Y'all...especially PEACE



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 716
Date:

Karlo84 wrote:

Thanks Chris/Neos....Feeling is better than not feeling as far as I'm concerned.


 oh I agree...also, I have felt like an "afterthought"  yea, my girls are grieving over my sister, their mom, but they COULD return a phone call..even if it is a text...but yea, I think my expectations of them wanting me as close as I want to be with them are setting me up for more hurt.....I have to sort myself out and find a way to end this being without anyone ....I mean its good to do self care, etc., and all that, but I am SICK of just hanging out with me...Since I got into recovery, my circle has shrunk...I am not a "people person" per se, but I am not a friggin recluse either...it would be nice if SOMEONE craved my company and thought I was important to them...I need to sort me out and figure out what I am doing to bring on this on me....I have tried to reach out to the healthier folks I have met, tried to be a friend, but it seems i am on the outside looking in...LOTS of folks, here, like me but don't seem to be very interested in making an effort to be with me....so I have to do a step 4...what am i bringing to the world??  what am I doing that is keeping me alone so much??  what is wrong with me??? I need to figure this out....



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Live and let live



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 724
Date:

well if it's any consolation ma, rosie (the rosie name is difficult for me, lost one of my best dogs called Rosie to a horrific disease) I look forward to your 'visits' here, as do I most everyone (when I'm here). If I don't feel harassed to 'see it their way' which oh boy I can (most of that me but not all).
Yes, I am having trouble with loneliness too. My own fault. My husband liked isolation so I quit trying and allowed it to happen. 
Sometimes fun to share here, but I'd be the same way in any group, group therapy don't like talking about myself, allowing anyone to know me too much, back off jack. Therefore, I don't feel relief here that much, wish I did but feels like too many strings attached too. I have many issues!
The main ones maybe needing a personality transplant, boring and battling, opinionated! I am weird, (not a criminal or sicko fortunately, but strange)
What relationships I have are not bad but they want it on their terms mostly which isn't as satisfying to me at times.

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Chris, no matter what some things just don't work out. Sorry about your frustration. But you did a good job with your kids, your daughter. 






-- Edited by Jgirl on Saturday 12th of August 2017 10:19:55 AM

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