LINKS
MIP Home Page

ACoA Group Home Page
Adult Children Meeting/Chat Room
Site Technical Problems or Questions?
Step Work Board - A Step each week!
Online Meeting Schedules
Music to Enjoy while here!
Recovery Book Store
Amazon.Com Recovery Books


Adult Children Anonymous
Message Board

Meetings

Tuesday - 7:00 PM ET

Click to Enter Chat Room Page

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Feeling loved


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1607
Date:
Feeling loved


I ve realized that Ive not really felt loved all that much in my lifetime.Was talking to God and asking why he would love me.I think it's the core issue for me.Its why I do a lot of the dysfunctional things.The please love me then I'll feel whole.That sick codependent thinking.My whole paradigm has been based on doing giving to get.Not upon being .It was so ingrained in me the if I do for you you do for me.Nothing unconditional.Never a gift out of the blue always a price to be paid.Even gifts if I said I didn't like it well there was a whole lecture.Everything was you should be great ful.When I was growing up I never had.As if it was my fault.I didn't want all the gifts ,I just wanted to be accepted and loved.It wasn't love that was expressed.It was chaos.I don't feel loveable.Sitting here waiting for someone to give me a life or love me.Im angry.I deserve to be loved.Hearing my mom scream That passive aggressiveness she's always had.Younlisten or I'll scream and yell .The never ending go go go mentality you get better so you can do.Its sad .I was never taught me o enjoy the sunset or feel water on your feet or to enjoy life.If something's wrong work.If you're complaining put them to work.Kids weren't allowed to be kids.Even Xmas.Id be so excited then if you misbehaved Santa won't come and as we got older she was always taking a present away.All fear based.No wonder I have trouble trusting people when they say they love me or want to give me something.Im always walking on eggshells afraid it's going to be tak n away.I have to be super perfect or watch out.I was never allowed to be a normal kid that was allowed to make mistakes.It caused me to have a scre you attitude at times.Its not going to make a difference so screw it.I wont even try.I get this way with work.I need constant approval that I'm doing a good job.If I don't get it the old lies they don't like my work so why try.I have to really watch myself.Kinda want all this stuff to stop coming up.This too shall pas.Itd be nice if it was faster.



__________________
Chris


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 4182
Date:

   {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Neos}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks for your share.

In Recovey,

Princess K.



__________________


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 3
Date:

I've asked myself why God loves me.

I never even thought about asking God why!

I'm just guessing God would reply "because I created you."

Funny, God loves me, but I wanna argue with him that I don't think I am lovable!

Thanks for posting, you helped me think about it.

__________________


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 4182
Date:

Welcome to MIP, IWASOBESE99!

In Recovery,

Princess K.



__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 480
Date:

All I can say to this is why is important, but not as important as how do I overcome. Good luck Chris. I feel you're on the right track. You're here, sharing and trying to be you. Me too!!!

Welcome I waso...99

__________________

Peace and Love Y'all...especially PEACE

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us